Tag Archives: coochie

8 Babies…WTF Is Wrong With This Woman?

28 Jan

I edited the title of this post today. After finding out more about this crazy woman, I decided that she didn’t qualify for the title, “That Poor Woman”.

(01-27) 04:00 PST Bellflower, Los Angeles C” “ounty

A woman gave birth Monday to eight babies in a span of five minutes, only the second time in history live octuplets have been born, doctors said. Read rest here.

Now, anybody  who has read my blog for very long knows one thing……I take great care of my poontang. I’ve written enough posts about it!   I know that she had 46 doctors and had a C-section. But, daayammmm…..that is giving me sharp pains in my nether region just thinking about it! I feel like grabbing my coochie and crying’.

belly2

I was searching the internet for a pregnant belly to post here and came across this belly. Last fall, TPSkipper and I were competing to see who could get the most free stuff on the internet. I came across a site (don’t ask me how I got there) that was having a contest for the best decorated Fall/Halloween themed pregnant belly. I “borrowed” this picture and entered the contest. “My belly” did not win! Next time, I’ll find a bigger one!

 

 

Update:

Spokeswoman Says Nadya Suleman Has Named All 8 Babies, Looks Forward to Telling Her Story

The California woman who recently gave birth to octuplets is not overwhelmed and is looking forward to telling her story, her spokeswoman said today.

Nadya Suleman is a “wonderful woman,” spokeswoman Joann Killeen said today on “Good Morning America.” “She’s smart, she’s bright, she’s articulate, she’s well-educated and she has a wonderful sense of humor.”

Suleman, 33, remains in a hospital in southern California after giving birth Jan. 26 to the octuplets. Suleman, who has six other children, is now the mother of 10 boys and four girls younger than 8. All were born by in vitro fertilization, her mother has said.

Despite what might seem like an overwhelming number of children and despite her family’s apparent financial difficulties, Suleman is “upbeat” about her future, Killeen said.

“She’s very joyful. Nadya is a very balanced and together woman,” she said.

“She’s very, very happy and joyful for the miracle of life and the babies.”

Suleman has held the babies and has named them, Killeen said, though she declined to reveal the names.

In a statement released today, Kaiser Permanente’s Bellflower Medical Center said all eight babies are breathing unassisted as they continue to feed on donated breast milk and receive intravenous nutritional supplements.

“This has been a very good week for the babies. It is always satisfying to be able to see a baby that was born premature continue to get stronger every day,” Dr. Mandhir Gupta said in the statement.

From another online article:

The California woman who gave birth to octuplets on Monday, although once married, apparently had all 14 of her kids out of wedlock by artificial means — and various public records raise questions about the family’s ability to support them.

Meanwhile, a friend and neighbor of the new mother defended her decisions to ABC News and insisted she will have plenty of assistance raising her 14 children.

“Nadya has a lot of friends that are very supportive and willing to help in any way they can,” Jessica Zepeda said Sunday evening outside her Whittier, CA. home. She called Doud a “wonderful mother” and an ”awesome parent.”

Zepeda and Doud’s children play and go to school together. Zepeda expressed frustration with critical coverage of the octuplet birth in the media and suggested that it was preventing her children from seeing their friends.

“They can’t – because of all the cameras in front of her house,” Zepeda said.

ABC News has learned through San Bernardino Superior Court Records that the 33-year-old California woman, whose name is Nadya Doud or Nadya Suleman (she filed to have her name changed to Nadya Suleman in 2001 — though it was not clear if the request was granted), divorced her husband, Marcos Gutierrez, in January 2008.

The document indicates “no children of the marriage,” suggesting that Gutierrez was not the father of Doud’s previous six children.

Last week, the woman’s mother, Angela Suleman, said her daughter has been obsessed with having children since she was a teenager, according to an interview she conducted late Friday with The Associated Press.

Angela Suleman told the AP that all 14 children were conceived through in vitro fertilization, because her daughter had always had trouble conceiving because her fallopian tubes were “plugged up.” She said that while all the kids came from a single sperm donor, the donor is not Marcos Guitierrez.

An AP review of birth records identified a David Solomon as the father of the oldest four children.

Doud lived with Gutierrez for about three-and-a-half years from August 1996 until January 2000, when she moved back with her parents, Edward Doud Suleman and Angela Suleman, living at several addresses, records show. The parents were granted a divorce in Las Vegas in 1999, but evidently still live together.

After leaving Gutierrez, Doud began having her 14 children.

Another set of court documents may raise the question of whether Doud will be able to afford care for all those kids. The public records indicate that Doud’s mother filed for bankruptcy in March 2008.

The family currently lives in a three-bedroom home in suburban Los Angeles. Bankruptcy court records show that, as of March 2008, the family owned a second home in the same area.

As of March, Edward Doud Suleman, apparently the octuplets’ grandfather, was working in Iraq, according to the bankruptcy filing. The couple’s combined monthly income was listed as roughly $8,740, but the filing indicated that Angela Suleman expected their income would rise from her husband’s employment. It said that he would earn $100,000 a year. The document did not specify Suleman’s husband’s occupation, but Suleman told the Los Angeles Times that her husband was a contractor.

Angela Suleman told the newspaper that her daughter had fertility treatment but never expected the treatment would result in eight babies.

She said that raising 14 children “was going to be difficult.”

Nadya Suleman (a.k.a. Doud) reportedly held a psychiatric technician’s license, though it was not clear if she was currently employed.

She holds a 2006 degree in child and adolescent development from California State University, Fullerton, and as late as last spring she was studying for a master’s degree in counseling, a college official told ABC News.

In a statement released today, Kaiser Permanente Bellflower Medical Center in Bellflower, Calif., where the children were born, said the infants were showing “good progress.” All of the babies are breathing unassisted, and are being tube-fed donated breast milk and given intravenous nutritional supplements, the statement said.

No matter what someone earns, giving birth and caring for octuplets is an expensive proposition. The infants’ delivery was performed by a team of 46 doctors, nurses and surgical assistants stationed in four delivery rooms at the Bellflower Medical Center, and it likely cost hundreds of thousands of dollars.

“Where is the milk money going to come from? How are we going to get these children to bed at night? Who is going to stay up with six children?” asked Dr. Charles Sophy of L.A. County Children and Family Services. “There is a lot of realty setting in.”

“You can think of it as an eightfold increase on a singleton birth,” said Steven M. Donn, director of the Division of Neonatal-Perinatal Medicine at the University of Michigan Health System. “By comparison, the mother’s care will probably be a bargain.”

Costs for the average delivery of a full-term pregnancy range from $9,000 to $25,000, depending on whether the baby is delivered by Caesarean section or vaginally. Eight times $25,000 is a whopping $200,000.

But Donn said the cost of the octuplets’ delivery likely exceeded that number because doctors prepared for the risks associated with a multiple-birth delivery.

“For reasons we don’t completely understand, risks with multifetal deliveries are greater than [normal births],” Donn said.

The medical costs for babies born preterm, like the California octuplets, which were born nine weeks premature, are also above average.

“The real significant costs come on the pediatric side, particularly when it comes to neonatal intensive care,” said Dr. Geeta Swamy, a maternal-fetal specialist at Duke University Medical Center.

A full-term pregnancy lasts from 38 to 42 weeks, according to the National Institutes of Health, and Swamy estimated for babies born at 30 weeks the hospital stay could be “anywhere from six weeks to six months.”

For an infant stay in a neonatal intensive care unit, costs can add up to “a few thousand a day,” she said.

“So we are looking at probably several hundreds of thousands of dollars for the family. If it is $100,000 per baby, for example, then it would be $800,000 for all eight,” Swamy said.

I love this quote from the grandma:

Nadya Suleman wanted to have children since she was a teenager, “but luckily she couldn’t,” her mother said.

“Instead of becoming a kindergarten teacher or something, she started having them, but not the normal way,” he mother said.

 

Celebrating My Poontang…..

17 Aug

Hey, y’all…….guess what? My poontang is more popular as blablabla’s (and her’s is listed on a professional coochie site called LonelyWivesAffairs.) BTW….she’s the one who looks like she’s getting it on with a telephone pole.

I was checking my stats and saw that I had over 7,000 hits on my poontang post! And, at the other blog that I co-author, I’ve had over 3,000 hits on it. That’s 10,000 hits on the all vajayjay. Of course, I’m talking about blog hits not literally whacking my cooter. Now that would make for one black and blue twatter!

……….My Poontang Post

So, let’s have a Poontang Post celebration.

I brought cake……

Coochie Cake

Coochie Cake

and we’re gonna………

…….and believe me…..MINE WAS!

How would y’all (my blog girlfriends and some boyfriends) enjoy a nice, nasty stripper show? Yeah…..I thought that you might………

So, now to the guest list

1. All of y’all (my blog buddies).

2. Elizabeth Edwards John Edwards Rielle Hunter

3. The Obamas

4. The McCains

5 .Bill and Hillary Clinton

6. Casey Anthony

7. Bill O’reilly and Keith Oberman and Ann Coulter

8. George Clooney

9. David Cook, Clay Aiken and his baby mama, Fantasia, Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, Shawn P Diddy Combs, Amy Winehouse, George Clooney, Tyra Banks, Oprah Winfrey, Ellen Degeneres, Gary Busey, Rick Springfield, Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Michael Phelps,Bono,Sting, Cher,Daughtry

10. Cheating Chinese gymnast

11. Anybody else that I can think of as a tag that will get me hits. Come on…..y’all didn’t think I was really gonna invite those people to my Vagina Celebration, did ya?

12. Cycling Swiss Guy Totally just kidding!

13. Larry King and David Hasselhoff…….no friggin’ way!

14. Ozzy Osborne

15. Dr. McSteamy…..serious about this one!

Now, we need some favors for my guests…..hmmmm…..how about……

Velvet Vulva Pillow

Velvet Vulva Pillow

Or if that doesn’t ticke your fancy, you can pick your own gift here………Vulva Art!!!!!!

And of course, we need decorations………

OK….I know y’all are disappointed. I spent quite a while trying to find balloons/decorations that were appropriate. All I could find were p****y pinaita. And, the search that I did for “adult balloons” just resulted in me finding way more than I need to know about what some women do to balloons and the weirdos that pay to watch them do it. NO LINK FROM ME! Uh uh….you’ll have to check that out on your own if you wanna see it.

OK……LET THE CELEBRATION BEGIN!!!!!!

OH….DON’T FORGET TO SIGN THE GUEST LIST BY LEAVING A COMMENT!!!!!

Another Poontang Post…..

23 Jun

I read today that a lady gave birth to twins that weighed over 23 lbs (combined, of course) and honestly, it made my vajayjay ache until I read that they were delivered by C-section. After I read that, my coochie didn’t hurt anymore but I walked around the rest of the afternoon holding my belly.

My girls only weighed 12 1/2 pounds combined. And, since they are not twins and were delivered 5 years apart, that was pretty OK. I hate the fact that I can’t screw with their heads by telling them that they almost ripped me into shreds being born, though. It’s hard to keep a straight face and say, “You ungrateful brat! I almost needed a whole new set of organs when your big ol’ 6 lb. body came out of me!”

So, now, I just say, “I’m still carrying baby weight around from you. I took keeping you fed well (with cookie, ice cream, chips, etc.) seriously while you were in the womb! I gave up my size 5…errr….7….um…OK, dammit…size 9′s so you wouldn’t feel deprived.”

I was surfing the net trying to find more info on the twins. That’s when I found this…..

OH, Hell No!

(When I first saw this picture, it scared the bejeesuz out of me. I thought that a transvestite was holding a little man.)

“When ten-month-old Karan Singh bundles into the playroom, other toddlers must run away screaming.

Because, at a hefty 22kg (NOTE: HOW MUCH IS THAT? I’LL TELL YOU….IT’S “OH, HELL, NO! SIZE) and at nearly 1m (3ft 2in) tall, Karan, seen right, is a giant among babies.

His size is no surprise to his mother – one of the tallest women in Asia at 2.18m (7ft 2in) – who has to feed him 20 times a day.”

Now, listen, I fed my 6 lb baby 20 times a day (while in the womb). What happened? It went to my ass…that’s what. Sheesh…..it would have been fine if she had weighed 10 lbs That would have been 4 pounds less of junk in the trunk.

I had a neighbor in my old stomping grounds (Lot # 1) who kept pushing out larger and larger babies. After her last one weighed 12 lbs 5 oz, I could not longer look at her without doing spontaneous Keigel exercises.

Maybe, having small babies is not so bad. I’m sure that I can find other things to make them feel guilty about.

Put Your Order In Now!!!!!

25 Feb

Get a bigger copulation organ today!

organs.jpg

That’s the title of an email that I got earlier today.

Why would I want a bigger copulation organ, pray tell me!!!! I’ve already given birth to two children and do not desire a coochie bigger than was necessary for those events. circus.jpg

I wonder just how many people these stupid asses send these emails to and how many are women.

I use to get really pissed off receiving these message.

Do you want a bigger pensi? No, I didn’t misspell. It actually had “pensi”. And, ya know, I might want a bigger pensi if I knew WTF a pensi is. Of course, they meant penis. Sure, I DO want a bigger pensi/penis but how can I convince my husband that I need one?

pensi.jpg

I no longer get all bent out of shape from this type of spam mail. It provides a good laugh to relieve stress.

I never answer these emails, of course. But, I am tempting to answer this one.

Maybe, in English/Spanish language mix….

Si! I would love a grande coochie!!!!

Or, maybe a Snoop Dogg transalation:

Would I like ta have a pimp copulizzle organ?

You bet yo sweet ass that Id like nuttin’ hustla than a giant size coochie!

But then, when it comes to “copulation organs”, the best answer would probably be a romantic language like French….

Mais bien sûr … envoyez-moi des informations sur comment je peux acquérir une taille gigantesque cooter
Maybe, I’ll just use the local white trash/redneck language….
“I hear that. Git ‘er done. Send me one of them thar big ‘ol poontangs rite now!”
Want the addy for you or a loved one? I’ll be happy to share it with you. Wouldn’t want any of you walking around wishing for a bigger hoo-haw and not having access to getting one. brown-package.jpg

Andy Rooney Has A Poontang Under His Chin….

26 Dec

Andy Rooney has some really interesting comments on 60 Minutes sometimes. He has some ridiculous comments at other times. Sometimes, he sounds extremely intelligent and other times, clueless. Lately, I can’t even listen to his comments because Andy has a cooter under his chin and I can’t keep my eyes off of it when he’s talking. It’s kinda like he grew a bald vajayjay over the years. It wiggles and wobbles and moves as he speaks. It sorta looks like a hiney, too. I wonder why someone doesn’t point this out to him. Or, is the crew as mesmerized as I am when he starts rambling? Look at the video. Look under his chin. What do you see? Maybe, I’ll name it “Rooter” or a “poonrooney”.

Whatever, it is…..it’s hypnotizing. Keep your eyes on the chin-coochie.

I watched him again this past Sunday nite. It’s still there. That poontang, punani, twatlike gobbler.

I’ve been checking for the last couple of weeks. Yep…..it’s still there…..that vajayjay chin.

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