Dreams That Last A Lifetime.....

No, I’m not referring to a life long dream that finally comes true. Nothing like, “Wow! All my life I wanted to be a size 5 and now I am! Or, I’m finally taking those classes in feng shui/bellydancing/welding, etc. that I’ve always wanted to take!”

Nope! I’m referring to those extremely vivid, realistic, and detailed dreams that you remember for years and years…if not forever. And, boy have I had some over the years!  I’ve consulted dream interpretation books and online sites but have yet to find meaning in the weirdest ones.

 Two of the dreams are so twisted that I shudder to think that they might actually relate to something in my real life. One was from about 10 years ago and I can remember every detail in it to this very day.

Here it is…..

I am in a classroom. I am taking my SATs. The Devil is the administrator of the test. All of a sudden, my phone rings. It is not a cellphone. It is a battery charged regular size phone. On the other end is a member of the  George Bush White House staff. He tells me that President Bush wants me to obtain a sandwich tray for an important Heads of State meeting for lunch that day. I am thrilled. I never even question why I am the one called. I tell the Devil that I have an important mission assignment that came directly from the President of the United States and I have to go out and buy a sandwich tray and deliver it to the White House. But, the devil tells me that if I leave, he will penalize me by deducting points from my test! I figure that I can get the President to deal with that and fix it. So, I leave and head to the nearest place with a deli which is Krogers. But, the deli is closed! I am starting to panic. Then, I get the idea that I can fix the tray myself. I buy bologna, white bread, and mustard. I, also, buy a plastic tray container and a knife. I fix bologna and mustard on white bread sandwhices and cut them into triangles and arrange them on the tray. I hurry to the white house in an unfamiliar, very small blue car that resembles a cartoon car. I go to the door of the Oval Office and President Bush, himself,  answers the door when I knock. He takes the tray and is very happy that it is bologna sandwiches because they are his favorite. He is very generous and ask me if I have had lunch yet. I tell him no and he invites me to stay and eat with the Cheifs of Staff. But, I tell him about the SAT test and how I must hurry back to finish. So, he takes 2 half sandwiches off of the tray and hands them to me for my lunch. I get back in the tiny (it’s smaller now) blue cartoon car and head back to the test site. The devil sees my bologna sanwiches and wants them. I tell him that they are for my lunch and he cannot have them. Then, he tells me that if I give him the bologna sandwich, he will not penalize me by deducting points from my test. I hand over the sandwiches and go back to my desk to finish taking the test.

(I’ll bet this car gets great gas milage!)

 And, that’s the end of it. I woke up.  Haven’t got a single clue what it all means.

The second really vivid and memorable dream was just a few nights ago. And here it is……

I am in an operating room and I have had a balls transplant (balls as in testicles). Now, I am somewhat fond of saying “grow some balls, for pete sakes but have never really coveted a set of balls of my own. Or, any man parts for that matter. So, why I got an operation to put some balls on me is unexplainable. But, in the dream…I did. And they were HUGE! And HEAVY! VERY, VERY HEAVY!!!!!

They kinda looked like this…yep, they were brown! And HEAVY…..

As I had just had balls sewn on to me, I had a lot of stitches in my poontang area and was very sore. So, I had to wear a skirt when I left the hospital so my balls could hang freely in the air in order for the area to heal. I stopped at a grocery store (hmm..both dreams have grocery stores!) to get something…not sure what…probably vaseline or Cortisone cream or something to prevent itching. While in the store, I felt some heavy pressure from my groin area. It kinda felt like my balls were falling off. I looked down and no, they had not fallen off but they had begun to STRETCH! They were hanging a good 6 inches lower. And the skin at the top was stretching out and resembling wrinkly chicken skin.

 I hurried to the register to pay for my Aveeno Oatmeal Itch Cream (which is what I had decided on buying…didn’t want no itchy balls!). As I got my money out my wallet, I dropped a dollar bill on the floor. When I bent over to pick it up, I was assulated with two brown balls swinging and hitting me in the nose and eyes. My balls had streteched down past my knees! This was really embarrassing and the people behind me in line were either snickering or gasping in shock. I reached down into my skirt band and to my poontang area, grasped the wrinkly chicken skin at the top of the testicles and pulled it up. I then tucked it into my skirt band. So, here I was….walking out of the grocery store with part of my new balls tucked in my waistband. But, by the time, I got to my car, the balls had stretched even more and were now dangling past my ankles. I knew the only thing that I could do was tuck them into my shoes. But, I had on flip-flops!!!!! So, I grabbed them, gave them a tug to stretch them a bit farther and tucked each one of them under a foot to keep them from swinging around.

Then I woke up! What could this possibly mean? Anybody wanna venture a guess?

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