Do You Really Think That I'm That Effing Stupid?

This summer has been a very busy one. I haven’t been on a vacation yet but I definitely need at least 2 weeks on a tropical island. This post is being written while my brain is in a very manic stage…..thoughts all over the place. So, don’t be surprised when I jump from one thing to the next. Regular readers have come to expect that, anyway. A good blogger would jot down stuff and write about it in a proper manner one subject at a time. But, when my head gets crowded with too much crap, I gotta let it out immediately…..kinda like that oil flowing in the Gulf. And, like BP (only without all the money, heartache, bullshit, and lies), trying to stop the flow has not been successful.  Or, puking….when ya gotta vomit bile crap up, ya just can’t wait until you got in all nice and tidy. Some of my thoughts are like throwing up…stinky and unpleasant and gotta come out immediately.   So, buckle yourself in and get ready for another TPB All Nonsense All The Time Roller Coaster Ride…..and don’t forget to throw your hands in the air at the thrilling/scary parts! 

 

TPKen’s crazy driving….TPK is driving crazy these days. He downright scares the shit out of me, sometimes. For instance….last week, we were going out to eat. Ken has developed a rather annoying (and downright dangerous) habit of pulling his big-ass Tahoe-pimpmobile halfway out into the road where he then stops and looks both ways for traffic. Holy crap…we’re already sitting in the middle of the damn road so why bother to check for oncoming traffic. I say, “JUST GO! GET OUT OF THE DAMN WAY!”. On this day, the visibility of traffic approaching us from up the hill was limited by tree limbs and overgrown shrubbery.  Ken slowly (did I mention that he now pulls out at around two and half miles an hr?) pulled out into the road. Just then, a shirtless, helmetless redneck dirt bike rider came flying around the curve. He had to swerve off the road in order to not rear end us. Now listen….I’m just not that in to fisticuffs anymore. I’ve become somewhat laid back about a lot of things these days. I don’t get nearly as pissed off as I use to get. Offing some idiot only crosses my mind  once or twice a week these days.  But, this little peckerhead turned all the way around and gave us the finger. Instinctively, I grabbed the neck of my Sam’s Choice qt. size Tropical Flavored Water and immediately went into Redneck Woman Warrior mentality. I was ready to lay that bottle upside the head of that little dirt-bike riding shithead. I looked over at TPK and was getting ready to ask him if he had my back when I saw that he was smiling and waving at that little shit. I said, “What the hell? Why are you waving at that guy?” TPK responded, “Because he was waving at us!”. “Well, if he was waving, he was only using one finger.” I told him. Sheeeesh….. 

  Barbie’s packin’ heat…. and it could get scary.

Yep, I have officially applied for a permit to carry a weapon aka gun. I don’t wanna take a chance of some crackhead whore trying to grab my purse off of my arm in a WalMart parking lot or something. Nope…I fully intend to protect my valuables and my own ass if accosted. It’s a cold world out there these days and it’s them or me. I fully intend to make sure that it’s ME. 

In order to apply for the permit, I had to take a 5 hr course handgun safety and handling. The instructor reminded me of Sgt Carter on the old Gomer Pyle show. His instructions and demonstrations were peppered with good redneck advice such as……”If you pull your gun out, ya better be ready to kill that commie bastard.” Did I mention that he had served in the military during 3 wars? He would show us how to do something and if we didn’t do it fast enough, he’d get in our faces and holler, “You’re too slow. You’re dead. Dead! Did ya hear me? DEAD! Now, work on loading/shooting and get faster! Cause, if ya don’t….you’ll be DEAD!” 

So, I’ve been practicing loading and aiming my Smith and Wesson because I don’t want to be dead. 

Now, here’s what the title is alluding to…..remember “Ima Sult”, the “family member” that I wrote about a few posts back. Let me refresh your memory. Ima is not her real name. “Ima Sult” comes from her horrible misspellings in a post on FB. In the post, she was trying to appear all bad-assed and threatening some other girl. She called the girl a “sult” which I’m pretty sure was suppose to be “slut”. And, she started her sentences with, “Ima” instead of “I am”….hence, the nickname…Ima Sult. 

Well, Ima is playing a new game now. It’s called “Ima Damn Lying Skank and will lie and steal to get what I want.” 

Here’s some samples of Ima’s latest postings…. 

“straighting my hair. then might play wit the cam. new pics comming soon. talkk? at the hotel by myself ” (Notice the mention of “hotel” as it will come into play in this post shortly)

  

“almost finished our house. im so0o0o exicted. gotr a new lazeyboy couch and it is niceeee” (notice the mention of spending money on a new couch) 

so i could get use to this wifey thing. he’s perfect. floors are done now i can get my new lazy boyyss <3  (pay attention to “floors are done” Plus she’s shacking up. She’s nobody’s wife).  

I could just sit her and copy and past her crap for hours but I don’t think that’s necessary. You’ll get my point in a minute.

 

As much as I hate to acknowledge it, our little Ima is very closely related to TPKen (who is an idiot). Ima has been in and out of his life for 19 yrs….mostly out for the last 6 or 7.  During the time that Ima was out, she kept herself quite busy. She tried to rob a 7-11 with some of her friends. She tried to mug an elderly lady with some friends on a Kroger parking lot. Oh, and she was dating the little shit who robbed my house!

 

Ima is a real upstanding young person. Hahaha…that’s funny. Ima is a real LOSER.

  

A few months back, Ima and TrailerParkMidge hooked up on FB. Then, Ima tried to friend me but I said…”No thank-you”! I was hoping to protect myself from Ima trouble but it didn’t work. TPM encouraged TPKen to call Ima. It seems that Ima had portrayed herself as a nice, young lady who just wanted to have a relationship with TPK (as I said, they are closely related….but I am not related to Ima and I know this is confusing but it’s better that I leave it at that). So, TPDumbassKen called her up. They went to lunch…..at a very nice…and expensive restaurant which TPDumbass paid for, of course. Then, Ima’s even less trust worthy mother decided to become a part of the big happy family reunion and started showing up for a weekly lunch.(..at a very nice restaurant which TPDumbass paid for), too. Weekly lunches with TPDA picking up the tab became a regular thing. But, then, Ima decided to bring her UNEMPLOYED boyfriend along for a free meal at a VERY NICE NOT-CHEAP RESTAURANT, too. As I checked my Visa bill online every week, I saw more and more lunches and the tab was rising each time.

So, I confronted TPDumbass and asked him if he realized that this was just history repeating itself. But, apparently, they’ve made him feel sorry for them or something because he continues dolling out the dollars for meals and drinks for whoever Ima and Co want to drag along that day.

  

As if that were not bad enough, Ima called last week with a sob story about how she needed TPDumbass to pay for 2 nights at a local hotel for her (and her loser boyfriend) because….

  

Her house was being exterminated and she couldn’t go back in it for 48 hours!

  

I had some questions about this:

1. Why would she have an exterminator come in if she had no where to stay.

2. Who was paying the exterminator?

3. In reference to some of her posts above….How could she afford to buy a lazyboy couch that is “niceeeee”?

 

TPKen told me what she wanted and not wanting to get in the middle of this shit again, I suggested that he compromise and offer to pay for one night. So, he did. I heard him tell the clerk at the Howard Johnson’s that he would pay for ONE NIGHT on his credit card.

 

Two days later, Ima and Dumbass met for lunch again (an expensive lunch). He asked her where she was staying and she said at the motel. (Which I already knew…check the post above). He asked her who was paying for it and she told him that the clerk gave her a free night since the room was unoccupied. At this time, she also changed her story from the “exterminator” to her floors were being refinished and she couldn’t stay there while it was done. Remember the post above about her floors? Well, it was made days before she said that she needed money to stay at a motel.

 

Now, who would belive that bunch of shit? TPDumbass did. Until, I happened to check my credit card online and saw that 4 nights had been charged to it. When TPDumbass came home that evening, I showed him the charged and informed him that I would NOT be paying it. So, he called the motel and told them that he only agreed to pay for one night. The manager told him that they would refund it and go after Ima for the money. This was on Monday. The manager got ahold of Ima and told her that she had until Friday to fork over what she owed or he would pursue it legally and she would probably get charged with credit card fraud. Then he emailed a copy of the receipt for 4 days to TPKen aka Dumbass. It plainly showed that she had signed the receipt when she left…a receipt that showed 4 nights being charged.

 

Well, today, TPDA met with his lovely “snicker snicker”  ladies today again for lunch….which included the mama ordering 3 cocktails and an expensive meal. During lunch, they both swore that the clerk had given Ima and her boyfriend 3 free nights. BULLSHIT!

I had been gone for 2 days and TPDumbass was suppose to take care of this mess while I was gone. Of course, he DID NOT. He was being too wimpy to stand up to them and tell them that we knew that they were lying.

 

Well, I’m not a bit afraid of those ho’ skanks. I got on my computer and disputed the charges. My credit card company is going to credit my account and the motel will have to get their payment from Ima and Co.

 

Boy, I was pissed. But, just writing this down has calmed me down somewhat. Because, I’m not stupid and they can’t get by with pulling this crap on me!

 

There….I feel much, much better. Let this be a lesson to all the Ima/skanks out there……I don’t take being lied to or taking advantage of very well.

 

And, liars cannot be trusted. They’ll turn on each other in a heartbeat…even their own lying-ass mothers. The following post by Ms. Skanky Ho’ will attest to that….

 

“stunnin is a habit get like me. visiting my mamma shes a fucking trip. cells good“

 

Does anybody know WTF “stunnin” is?

I wrote this yesterday. I decided to re-read it today and see if I was being too hard on Skanky Crook & Co. I was going to delete it if I thought that I was being too harsh or unfair. Well, I’m not deleting one word of it because it’s all the truth. She’s nothing but trouble. And, I am not one bit afraid of her and her crew of liars and thiefs.

 

So….Ima (in English that is “I am”) right here, biotches. Come and get me. But, remember, I’ve been practicing loading and aiming.

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