I am still a proud hippie…actually, a proud White Trash/Redneck Hippie. Shit, truth is, I was a hippie before the hippie movement even caught on. I had ragged pants and worn out shirts. I lived in a house with many people and we had to share almost everything. I did drugs for years. A lot of my clothes were tie-dyed. I wore no shoes….OK! OK! Hippie? Poor? What’s the bigass difference????? And, the drugs….well, truth be told, I had rheumatic fever as a child and had to take medicine. Yeah, penicillin is not quite weed or psychedelic mushrooms but it’s still a drug.
But, I was (and am) a legitimate hippy, too. By choice…not poverty…ok, some poverty did contribute to some of my hippy ways. ( BTW..I was a Biker Mama, too.……I wanted to write some more tales about that time in my life but decided not to do it after receiving a couple of comments that I wouldn’t approve. They were like, “I live in “nearby city”. Where do you live?” And,” who was the guy you were talking about that was eating dog food? I think that was me.” After giving it some thought, I figured it would be for my own good health if I didn’t write anymore. I wasn’t sure if they liked reading it or if they were trying to get info to come and kill me. Those bikers have strange senses of humor. Those tales were true).
Sorry about the ADD rambling…back to the program in progress…
Trailerpark Skipper has always romanticized about the Woodstock/peace/hippie movment. So, recently, she has been thinking about planning a trip to Sedona Arizona. I’m totally on board for that.
One problem is that Trailerpark Skipper and I have slightly different ideas about taking that fated trip. Ya see, she is all crap like recycling, re-using, carbon footsteps, and…..unneccessary buying! That’s almost blasphemy to me. Heck, y’all know that I can’t get enough lawn fawns, grass asses (those plywood backsides that is common in these parts) , or Christmas/Easter/Valentine/Halloween/4th of July/other holiday lights to cover my whole trailer! And, how could she possibly expect me to give up my best china…Dixie plates? I’m willing to leave a lot behind when we go but …hells no…I am not leaving my Charmin toilet tissue or my Secret deoderant out of my luggage! Gotta draw the line somewhere!
She began pushing the hippie trip on Facebook a few days ago. Following are the actual comments in their entirety…..
I accidentally cut off her profile pic on the first one but this is what she posted to me…….
“Ok seriously mom, lets rent a van and fill it full of interesting women, then go somewhere fantastic like Sedona Arizona. It will be like a Vagina Monologues on Tour!
My profile pic is missing in my first reply but here it is….
“YES! YES! YES! I’ve already written soliloquy. I wrote it several years ago but had to make a few changes as time went by…I changed it from mine is like the first summer rose covered in a wet dew to “mine is like a withered rose in a burlap sack carried by an old Mexican man into the dry, sandy desert.”
“mine is like a hairless cat shivering in a cold morning fog”
May 17 at 5:03pm ·
Trailerpark Skipper….
“mine is like a turtle hiding until it’s safe from mean children writing on it’s shell with nail polish“
May 17 at 5:03pm ·
TrailerparkSkipper….
mine is like an Italian Leather Glove carried around in a reusable Kroger shopping bag
May 17 at 5:06pm ·
TrailerparkSkipper…
mine is like a July harvest Squash plant,full to bursting, shown upon by a midcycle moon
May 17 at 5:07pm ·
Trailerpark Barbie
mine is like a kidskin driving glove left upon a dashboard of a rusted out Mercedes during a heat wave
May 17 at 5:51pm ·
Trailerpark Barbie
mine is like a plump juicy, seedless grape drying in the noon day sun soon to become a dried out raisens
May 17 at 5:52pm ·
Trailerpark Skipper….
mine is like a little old Croatian woman weeping for help from UNICEF
May 17 at 6:07pm ·
Trailerpark Skipper….
mine is like a matted Teddy Bear with a hole that needs mended sitting on a shelf at a second-hand store begging for love from passersby
May 17 at 6:08pm ·
Trailerpark Barbie….
mine is like a fragile spider web dripping with dew in the early morning sun knowing some jerk will come along and spray it with something toxic
May 17 at 6:13pm ·
May 17 at 6:14pm ·
Trailerpark Skipper….
Mine is like an unproductive apple tree, bearing only two pieces of fruit, both of them shriveled and dry
May 17 at 6:16pm ·
Trailerpark Barbie….
mine is like an old crippled crab fleeing from a tsunami
May 17 at 7:32pm ·
Trailerpark Barbie….
mine is like a sad slug that has been covered in salt by cruel children
May 17 at 7:53pm ·
Trailerpark Skipper….
Mine is a toad sitting on a wet lilypad oozing slime and waiting for flies to land on it
May 17 at 8:07pm ·
Trailerpark Skipper….
mine is a penguin that runs with it’s wings down to conserve energy… oh wait no, that’s dad
May 17 at 8:08pm ·
Trailerpark Skipper…..
mine is like THe Kardashians…fun to look at but totally useless
May 17 at 8:09pm ·
Trailerpark Barbie…
mine is like a 500 watt vestibule ceiling lightbulb that has burned out from shining too long and no one wants to touch because of it’s precarious location
May 17 at 8:22pm ·
Trailerpark Skipper….
Mine is like a worn out piece of bubble wrap that has been popped one too many times
May 17 at 8:23pm ·
Trailerpark Skipper….
Mine is like a furry baby bird about to be pushed from the nest but afraid to leave the warmth and familiar
May 17 at 8:25pm ·
Trailerpark Barbie….
mine is like a Snuggle fabric softener sheet that has been used..no longer soft or fresh smelling…and tossed behind the dryer
May 17 at 8:31pm ·
Trailerpark Skipper…
Mine is like a cheap knockoff purse, rough and wishing it was something it’s not
May 17 at 8:40pm ·
Trailerpark Skipper…
Mine is Luke a Cabbage Patch Doll, really great in the 80′s but now not so much
May 17 at 8:42pm ·
Trailerpark Skipper….
Mine is like one of our Facebook Friends…sitting around bored…and hurtin’ :-D
May 17 at 8:45pm ·
Trailerpark Barbie…
mine is like a tube of Dollar Store lipstick… feels dry and must be refreshed often
May 18 at 8:52am ·
We are hoping to continue adding to our “mine is like” list. If any of y’all have a “mine is like” idea….please put it in the comments and I will edit it back into the post.
My new (and very funny friend),crochetycrochetlady, added a ver good description of her vajayjay……. Mine “is” the dashboard of a rusted out Mercedes during a heat wave in Texas during the 1980′s after being driven for 30 years by a drunken old coot with whisky breath and a 2 pack a day habit…
“bows to CCL”….EXCELLENT! Readers, do yourself a favor and go check out her blog!
Anyone else want to add one? Not only will your description be in the post, but your link will be added as well. And, who wouldn’t want to be linked to a post about “my vagina is like…”?
Here’s another goody. This one is from my new trashy friend, TexasTrailerParkTrash. Be sure and check out her blog. It’s very entertaining!
“Mine is like the last tuna sandwich in the deli case…it still looks pretty tasty but has an illegible “sell by” date printed on the wrinkled wrapper.”……TexasTrailerParkTrash.
My daughter informed me I can’t be a hippie because I bathe regularly, don’t do drugs and don’t care about the environment. She frequently accuses me of dressing like I’m a homeless person. I’m down with that.
Mine “is” the dashboard of a rusted out Mercedes during a heat wave in Texas during the 1980′s after being driven for 30 years by a drunken old coot with whisky breath and a 2 pack a day habit
I have a part to me thats hippe…but the kind with long smooth hair and dresses and skirts in flower prints and flowers…but I dore vintage antiques especially victorian era, titantic, and anything Egyptian…and I want leather pants and would love a Harley and think that Lorenzo Lhamas is easily one of the hottest men in the world, and Sabstian Bach…and steve perry…and well I’ve always liked guys but not many from my own generation
1. I love that one of your tags is “What is your vagina like” HI-LARIOUS
2. I was thinking of you, and I’m certain you warrant your own TV show. I don’t know if you’d be down for that, but I think it’s kind of important.
3. I love that you call your daughter TrailerPark Skipper. That’s too great.
4. This made me laugh hard – that one of the comments you got was: ” who was the guy you were talking about that was eating dog food? I think that was me.”
I heart you. Seriously, think about the TV show. We’ll find someone to pitch it to. Or at least a Broadway show needs to be released about you. I’m so glad I know you.
V &GB…unfortunately, there was already a show with this premise…The Beverly Hillbillies. Well, I guess my life would be more like TBH meets I Love Lucy with a little Dance (some of) Your Ass Off thrown in. Or, Sanford and Son meets Anna Nicole (may she R.I.P).
I have a really great story to write but need to wait a while because I don’t want to influence a jury pool. My lady that comes and cleans every few weeks is in a jam. Her hubby is in the slammer in…well, somewhere else. I’ve been siphoning off household cash to her in secret.But, I’ve gotta stop before I drain my emergency (secret) funds.I’m in a quandry!!!! So, I asked myself…”What would V&GB do?”. But, myself had no answer. So, what would you do? Not about the money part…that’s pretty much a given…I’m all for helping others until it cuts into my (cash) comfort zone. I’m talking about whether I should have principles and not write about it or say…WTF? A good story is a good story. Should I just say, “screw prinicples..this is to good to not write about” or should I show a little decency and refrain from making fun of people in trouble (which will be a whole new concept for me)?
Also, there was a big fat turd in the middle of WalMart yesterday. Yes..you read that right…a TURD! Not as in a person who is acting like a shit-head…a REAL PILE OF CRAP! I’ve been obsessing about it every since I saw it. I have a whole post in my head about that one turd. But, the post would border on tasteless. Oh wait…that never stopped me so never mind about the turd question. Nevermind….
Who CARES about tasteless, it was in Wal Mart, for chrissakezs. Half the finniest stories I HEAR are “I was in walmart the other day….”
and hey, its your blog, and you always seem to protect identities, so…write away!! I especially look forward to the midget story.
Oh, I forgot to mention I love the show where midgets rescue pitbulls….
Vanessa…yeah, you are right. It was WalMart where tasteless runs rampart. I’ve watched the Midget/Pitbull show a time or two. I liked it, too. And, I do try to protect identities….as much for my own personal safety as well as the “alias” that I write about.
Now, the problem that I’m facing is that y’all are all probably expecting a great big, fantastic, and entertaining post and I’m probably gonna come up short. Oh well…..
You must read the stories at the “People of WalMart” web site. You are not the first to find the turd in the punch bowl. It appears to be the rule rather than the exception…….
CCL….Hahaha…yep! However, this was a real pile of shit on the floor!TPB
If you are looking for the real hippie experience, I would suggest a trip to New Paltz, NY. There is where many of the Woodstock hippies ended up moving to.
I don’t have a vagina, so I can’t play the “My Vagina is Like” game.
Interesting
Hi Steph…How are you? It’s been tooooo long! I was checking spam this morning and your comment was in it. Dunno how that happened!
My daughter informed me I can’t be a hippie because I bathe regularly, don’t do drugs and don’t care about the environment. She frequently accuses me of dressing like I’m a homeless person. I’m down with that.
Most of the fashion today looks like it came from The Homeless line. So, you’re right in style!
Oh, Oh, oh, can I play??
Mine “is” the dashboard of a rusted out Mercedes during a heat wave in Texas during the 1980′s after being driven for 30 years by a drunken old coot with whisky breath and a 2 pack a day habit
ccl…yes, you may play and must say that you play like a pro! That was a good one. Can I put copy and paste it and put it in the post?
Of course you may!
I have a part to me thats hippe…but the kind with long smooth hair and dresses and skirts in flower prints and flowers…but I dore vintage antiques especially victorian era, titantic, and anything Egyptian…and I want leather pants and would love a Harley and think that Lorenzo Lhamas is easily one of the hottest men in the world, and Sabstian Bach…and steve perry…and well I’ve always liked guys but not many from my own generation
that was rambling because I’m high.
Wow. Where to begin.
1. I love that one of your tags is “What is your vagina like” HI-LARIOUS
2. I was thinking of you, and I’m certain you warrant your own TV show. I don’t know if you’d be down for that, but I think it’s kind of important.
3. I love that you call your daughter TrailerPark Skipper. That’s too great.
4. This made me laugh hard – that one of the comments you got was: ” who was the guy you were talking about that was eating dog food? I think that was me.”
I heart you. Seriously, think about the TV show. We’ll find someone to pitch it to. Or at least a Broadway show needs to be released about you. I’m so glad I know you.
V &GB…unfortunately, there was already a show with this premise…The Beverly Hillbillies. Well, I guess my life would be more like TBH meets I Love Lucy with a little Dance (some of) Your Ass Off thrown in. Or, Sanford and Son meets Anna Nicole (may she R.I.P).
I have a really great story to write but need to wait a while because I don’t want to influence a jury pool. My lady that comes and cleans every few weeks is in a jam. Her hubby is in the slammer in…well, somewhere else. I’ve been siphoning off household cash to her in secret.But, I’ve gotta stop before I drain my emergency (secret) funds.I’m in a quandry!!!! So, I asked myself…”What would V&GB do?”. But, myself had no answer. So, what would you do? Not about the money part…that’s pretty much a given…I’m all for helping others until it cuts into my (cash) comfort zone. I’m talking about whether I should have principles and not write about it or say…WTF? A good story is a good story. Should I just say, “screw prinicples..this is to good to not write about” or should I show a little decency and refrain from making fun of people in trouble (which will be a whole new concept for me)?
Also, there was a big fat turd in the middle of WalMart yesterday. Yes..you read that right…a TURD! Not as in a person who is acting like a shit-head…a REAL PILE OF CRAP! I’ve been obsessing about it every since I saw it. I have a whole post in my head about that one turd. But, the post would border on tasteless. Oh wait…that never stopped me so never mind about the turd question. Nevermind….
I’d obsess over it too, thats just..nasty.
Who CARES about tasteless, it was in Wal Mart, for chrissakezs. Half the finniest stories I HEAR are “I was in walmart the other day….”
and hey, its your blog, and you always seem to protect identities, so…write away!! I especially look forward to the midget story.
Oh, I forgot to mention I love the show where midgets rescue pitbulls….
Vanessa…yeah, you are right. It was WalMart where tasteless runs rampart. I’ve watched the Midget/Pitbull show a time or two. I liked it, too. And, I do try to protect identities….as much for my own personal safety as well as the “alias” that I write about.
Now, the problem that I’m facing is that y’all are all probably expecting a great big, fantastic, and entertaining post and I’m probably gonna come up short. Oh well…..
You must read the stories at the “People of WalMart” web site. You are not the first to find the turd in the punch bowl. It appears to be the rule rather than the exception…….
CCL….Hahaha…yep! However, this was a real pile of shit on the floor!TPB
If you are looking for the real hippie experience, I would suggest a trip to New Paltz, NY. There is where many of the Woodstock hippies ended up moving to.
I don’t have a vagina, so I can’t play the “My Vagina is Like” game.
AH…you could play by imagining what yours would be like IF you had one….
Mine is like the last tuna sandwich in the deli case…it still looks pretty tasty but has an illegible “sell by” date printed on the wrinkled wrapper.
Good one, TTPT….can I copy and paste it with your link into the post?
Of course! Love the post…