I just came thru the door no more than 15 minutes ago. I’ve been out running errands and just could not wait to get back home and write about this. I have several drafts that I should be working on but this is waaaaay better than any of them.
I saw possibly the most freakish thing that I have ever seen in real life today. As I was going in the post office, three people were coming out. First, I saw the older kinda grubby looking man. Then, a boy of around 13-14 yrs old who looked like a character from Dogpatch was who my eyes landed on second. But, the third…..well, the third ….
A boy almost ran into me coming out the door. And, the way he looked absolutely stunned me for a minute. I seriously needed my camera in a big-ass way. But, unfortunately, I had left my purse with my cellphone w/camera in the car. If I could have gotten a picture, I’ll bet it would have been used all over the internet in countless blogs. Crapola…of all the times to not be carrying my cellphone!
The boy was of undetermined age. He was about a head shorter than me and I am 5’2″. It would be my guess that he could have been as young as 5 (a big, husky five) or as hold as 7 or 8. He had a stocky, strong, raised- on- the- farm (or raised my wolves) build.
. And,he had no shirt or pants on. He was wearing a pair of dingy Fruit of the Looms and cowboy boots.
Yes, you read that correctly.
However, he didn’t give off the impression that he was in distress or anything like that. I know that some of y’all might be thinking…”Well, maybe, he was kidnapped or something.” I have a pretty good sense of trouble and that boy was not in trouble. As a matter of fact, he seemed to be pretty much in control of his companions.
The boy had a pacifier in his mouth! And, when the older of the boys said to him, “Watch out, Bub. You almost ran into that purdy lady.”
What happened next will be forever burned into my memory (as if his clothing were not enough already). Husky, man-panty wearing boy removed the pacifier from his mouth and said, “Fuck you!” to the older boy. His voice was kinda husky and just for a second, I thought that maybe he was a midget (yes, I know that is not PC but “little person” just doesn’t seem adequate here). He then put the pacifier back in his mouth and kept walking out the door.
I just about peed my pants. I wish with all my heart that I had my camera or at least another witness. No one was in the post office, not even the post master since it was lunch time. But, I can guarantee you that I will be carrying my camera every time I go to the post office in the future.
Just a thought….Maybe, they were some of the Lost characters and that’s what the boy wore on the island?????
We pass each other at the crabby old farts place, thought I’d call over. I do so hope that this story is an urban myth that you are recycling?
Hi Dave! Yes, I’ve seen you at COF’s. He’s a riot. And, as I’ve told him, I’m gonna stalk him until I become Mrs. Crabby Old Fart. LOL
Unfortunately, (for the boy) this is not an urban myth. I actually saw this with my own two eyes. I’m determined to lay in wait at the post office until I can take his picture. It will kinda like bird watching…snapping a picture of the elusive FOTL/cowboy boot wearing/pacifier sucking redeneck loon. I had never wanted to have my cellphone camera on my possession so badly. So, in order to assure doubters that this creature does exsist, I MUST get pictorial proof.
That was truly at the top of my Weirdest Things Ever Spotted list.
Thanks for stopping by. I’ll have to come and check out your site.
Dave….THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I have been unable to trace my roots. I cannot get past the first limb on the family tree trying to trace my heritage. Therefore, I have always felt that I don’t really belong to any group of people. You have changed that. I am A BOTTOM DWELLER!!!! And, I embarce all the other BD’s and feel like I am HOME AT LAST! Home at last….thank God almighty, that I’m HOME AT LAST! I could just kiss you! Now, on forms that must be filled out, I actually have something to put in the ethnic spot!!!! (yes, I know that BD is not an ethnic description but with everyone so PC today, who’s gonna question it?)
ROFLMAO!!
OK I really needed that laugh this morning! Were you at the Odd Post Office? (I mean, clearly it was odd as in strange, but I mean Odd the town?) LOL!
Like the new look here at the trailer park!
VV…no, not at the Odd post office. But, TPMidge and I have decided that I must have spotted an elusive Whittaker.
Thanks for the compliment, I worked on it last night. Got tired and didn’t finish. I’m still widget illiterate, though.
I’m gonna come visit the VV in a minute and see if you wrote anymore YM post. I’m sure that you’ve had plenty to write about on that subject.
I actually have not! But I will try to get something together soon regarding her home invasion/pharmaceutical theft/detox attempt
Oddly enough I have not heard so much as a peep from her in weeks.
OH MY GOSH! This tops anything I ever saw in Dayton, except maybe the topless lady sitting on her porch with her dog. No, scratch that. This beats even that.
I have a gazillion cameras and recording devices. Why, oh why could I have not had just one with me then?
MM…we need to go one of those little spy cameras and put it on a chain around our necks.
That topless lady is right up their in the Weird People category.
Thank for stopping by!
Dear god, Walmart rang and they want him back
You should ask the Postmaster about that guy. Maybe he/she can tell you when that crew usually stops by. Then you can gift us all with plenty of pics.
I wonder if that guy always wears the same outfit, or if he sometimes changes things up with different boots.
You visited my hometown and didn’t stop by to say hello?
No lie, last summer I saw the family you’re talking about. All I could do was stand in open mouthed shock. I think they stole some of my brain cells, so get ready to become dumber.
And really, your Barbie picture is about most freaky thing I’ve ever seen.
yellowcat….You live in The Boogerwoods, too? COOOL….let’s meet up some evening and go coon hunting! You do have a coon dog, don’tcha?
What’s so freaky about my Barbie picture….well…besides the Orphan Annie red hair, the 80′s neon blue eye shadow, and the clown lips? Hey, I’m consider HIGH CLASS in the this neck of the woods.
Um…Maggie isn’t a coon hound, but recently she escaped the yard and when I called her she came running back with one of the stray cats all dead and floppy in her mouth. I’m sure she would do the same for a coon.
Mondo bizarro! The tiny part of my brain that strives for logic in situations like this wants to make some sense of it all. There is a candy that comes in the shape of a pacifier…please, Lord, let it be that. That would explain that deviancy, but the dingy Fruit of the Looms and the cowboy boots are beyond rational explanation.
Hi TTPT…no, it was not candy. I’ve seen those, too. It was REAL! Can ya believe someone sent him out of his home like that?
I went to the post office today and there was a ratty black pick-up outside. It had a bumper sticker on the back that said “Hell Was Full So They Sent Me Back”. I got soooo excited. I thought it was the FOTL wearing boy! But, darn it, it wasn’t! Gonna keep looking though.
Try to get a picture next time. No, try to get video!
Mel….Every damn day since then I’ve gone by that stupid post office looking for those people. No luck yet. I’ve become almost fanatical about it. Sure wish that I would spot them while I have my camera with me! The postmaster said that they come in about twice a month. Maybe to pick up govt checks?
TPB, I truly needed the hearty laugh you gave me tonight. ear lord, what are people doing to their kids these days? It is so damn white trashy and hilarious, I just can’t take it.
Too many times I have not document bizarre moments, and I understand the pain you are feeling right now. Don’t worry, think of this post as like a book, and how the imagination captures an image much better than some hollywood film maker could.
I’ve got him in my mind’s eye, saying f you, nearly naked, in his cowboy boots.
You are such a shinny and wonderful gem in my online life!
Hello to MBM and VV. Hope to stop by your blogs later this week. I’m so behind visiting you!
Maybe the kid was mentally challenged or something? This seems like something right out of The Simpsons. And the ‘Fuck you’ was so unnecessary! This doesn’t seem to make sense!!
Gee, America seems like an interesting place. Over here two students walked around with no pants on and got fined pretty badly, plus it made national headlines.
Whatever you are drinking has seriously caused you some brain damage lady
Shari…I started drinking after I saw this.