Have I No Shame?....

I’ve had several things that I have wanted to write about for the last week or so. Why is it that when you have something that you are looking forward to writing about that you don’t have the time? I guess it’s the Cycle of the Universe or something else as profound. Or, maybe, it’s really The Man Upstairs trying to keep me from writing about stuff that I shouldn’t? Probably the latter.

But, y’all know me…not much that I won’t tell. It’s just that I find some things so funny or outrageous or unusual, I’ve just gotta share them.

Shame on me!

Aw…what’s life if you can’t laugh at yourself (other people in your life)? OK…that’s enough of pretending like I have a conscience about writing any of this. Who am I kidding, anyway? So, here goes….

THE MARCH OF THE PENGUIN…..

Trailerpark Ken and I have had an ongoing disagreement for many years about the proper way to run. TPK is an engineer and insist that holding one’s arms stiffly at one’s side is aerodynamically superior to moving one’s arms back and forth to propel the body to a faster pace. Even though, I have pointed out to him while watching Olympic runners ( on more than one occasion) that the runners do not run this way, he insist that I am wrong. I suppose all of the Olympic runners are wrong, too. By his theory, the runners in the Olympic events would resemble a Charlie Chaplin look-a-like contest. Or, maybe, a bunch of Groucho Marx’s doing duck-walks.

If I had to compare TPKen’s running technique, it would be to a penguin running. Arms held stiffly at sides…letting the legs do all the work while wobbling side to side. While running, TPKen looks like the guy in the following video. Keep in mind that it took me forever to find a video that closely resembled how he runs. I found a couple of videos of Special Olympic runners but they were actually better than TPK…..

This winter, TPKen has become uncommonly sedentary. His biggest effort at any form of exercise is pushing his chair away from the table after supper and changing into his sleepwear for a few hours of TV watching. This is followed by a little pipe smoking and then off to bed.

Recently, I discovered that TPKen’s brother has started a walking program on his doctor’s orders. I secretly made a call to the brother and asked him to invite TPK to start walking with him. He called a couple of evenings ago and TPK agreed to start walking with him. The first evening, TPK asked me if I would go, too. Now, I have to admit that I had another motive for pushing TPK to walk. Yes, I want him to exercise but I, also, want him out of my hair in the evenings. I have started an exercise program of my own. I spend 30 minutes free-style dancing around my house. And, believe me, it’s a much harder exercise program than the slow walking that TPK likes to do. For several evenings (before blessed brother called), I agreed to walk around our property with TPK. Good grief! It was like walking with my grandpa….slow and he tended to stop and look at stuff every few feet. I could have gotten more exercise using my legs to propel my porch swing! So after I insist that he spend some quality time with his only brother, TPK met up with his brother at a local school and walked around the track for a few evenings. Today, he was rained out.

Yesterday, TPMidge and hubby had come by for a visit. TPK told her that he had started walking and she was very happy about that. TPMidge is an exercise nut and runs about 3 miles a day (among other exercises). I was somewhat taken aback when TPK stated that he was going to start running. Now, keep in mind that he has only been doing the walking for 2 days. And, now, he thinks that he is ready to start running? This is not a good idea. It’s not that I wouldn’t love to see him become a runner but this is something that he needs to work up to in order to prevent injuries or health problems (such as a heart attack).  TPK has been walking in blue jeans and work boots. So, I asked him what he was going to wear while running and he informed us that he would wear the same….jeans and work boots. This is a ridiculous idea. BUT….

I couldn’t resist….so, today, I began checking his closet for proper attire. Of course, he has none. So, I’ve decided to buy him some…..black running pants and a black and white t-shirt. Why those particular items, you wonder? Because, he runs like a penguin and I figure that if I dress him like one, I’ll have a you-tube worthy video! I’ve check my video cam battery to make sure that it’s charged. Can’t wait to come back here and post The March Of The Trailerpark Penguin…….

 YES…

Shame on me! But, y’all know that you’ll come back to see it!

Edited to add….still ready with camera but the rain is not co-operating. However, TPK did go yesterday. He said that he tried to run but it was too hard. Why? He was trying to run in jeans and steel-toed boots!

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