Today was cleaning day in The Boogerwoods. As y’all may recall, I have a woman who comes every two weeks and helps me give my hillbilly mansion a thorough cleaning. I love her! She is pure redneck and we have a ball when she’s here. I usually turn on some good ol’ redneck, white trash music like Lynard Skynard and we dance around to Free Bird. About half of the time that she is here is wasted on us acting silly. But, she works for a lot of snobby, rich folks, too, and I know that they expect a “Yes, Mam, No, Mam-Butterfly McQueen-Gone-With-The-Wind” performance from her. She can sure tell some funny stories about some of them. For instance, she was late coming today due to the fact that she had to polish a drawer full of silverware for one of her clients. She said that the lady was throwing a texting dinner party. Maybe, I’m behind the times or live so far out in the woods that I get Sunday’s newspaper on Thursday, but for the life of me…I’ve never heard of a texting dinner party….much less a fancy one that requires real silver eating utensils.
I asked her what went on at a texting dinner party and she said that she didn’t really know. But, it was her best guess that the invited guests sat around texting each other while they were eating. Now, this makes absolutely no sense to me. If I like ya good enough to invite ya to eat with me, then I’m pretty sure that I’d like ya enough to talk to ya.
But, then I got another thought. Maybe, the guests are required (or might just want to do it) to text people who were not invited and rub it in their faces. I image it would go something like this….
“Susie its me Eating @Ethels Usng real silverware Know ur jealous!”
“RALPH GOT IN THE JOINT REAL SILVERWARE BUY SKI MASKS ASAP”
“Mom whch is salad frk?”
“Jeez these ppl are BORING”
Now, I would text something more like…
“lmao ths ppl r real assclowns”
“do me favr prtend ur cops&bust ths crppy prty”
I just don’t see myself throwing a texting party anytime soon. But, if I did, I’d go all out and buy some of those fancy Dixie plates with the colored borders and some Sam’s Warehouse solid colored plastic spoons and forks.
One more thing…this has nothing to do with the texting party. But, I found it rather funny. I got an email informing me that Hot Angie wanted to be my friend on F*ckbook! Nothing’s sacred anymore!