Pretentious People Make Me Sick.....

pre·ten·tious… (pr-tnshs)

adj.

1. Claiming or demanding a position of distinction or merit, especially when unjustified.

2. Making or marked by an extravagant outward show; ostentatious.

 

We all know at least one. I’m talking about people who have unfounded visions of grandeur. The look-at-me-I’m-so-important, annoying, and self-promoting person who thinks the world revolves around them and everyone should be in tremendous awe while in their presence.

 

Here’s the story of one who went a teeney bit too far. Names have been changed to protect me from being sued since it just so happens that this person happens to have a law degree.

 

Here’s the story…..and it pisses me off……

 

Jocelyn has always been one of the best self-promoters that I’ve ever met. She manages to spin whatever happens in her everyday life into a story worthy of the front page of the New York Times. This time, she out-did herself. Jocelyn has a daughter who will be turning two years old tomorrow. TWO YEARS OLD! And, this past weekend, a local television station was tipped off (hmmm….wonder who called in that tip?) that the child is apparently very wise and compassionate beyond her young age. It seems the little girl has decided that since there are so many poor kids in the world that she wants to not get any presents for her birthday. Instead, she wants people to donate to these poor kids. Let me remind you…she’s TWO YEARS OLD!  Her Mama was right there on my television trying to get the entire viewing audience to believe that crap???!!!!! Seemed kind of strange that the compassionate little tot knew that she wanted to donate her birthday money to the needy but couldn’t even put two words together in a sentence. I guess that she and her Mama have some kind of secret communication and Mama had to be the interpreter.

 

Jeez…..when my kids were two years old, neither of them even knew what poor meant. Maybe, my kids were just selfish little brats but as I recall, they couldn’t wait to get their grubby little hands on the wrapped up gifts. Both of them would have sunk their tiny little teeth into the hand of anyone who even made a motion indicating that they might touch one of the presents. Arms with small but mighty muscles would have been swinging wildly. Cops would probably have had to be called. ER expenses would have been monumental.

 

So, am I just being too skeptical or does this sound a tad bit unbelievable to y’all, too? This pisses me off beyond description.

 

Tonight, I was leaving a local restaurant when I ran into Mama and Amazing Kid coming in the door.  Oh, did I mention that this pisses me off? My unkind  mind wanted to say to AK,

 

 ”So, tomorrow is your birthday and you are not getting any presents. How sweet! You are a special little tot to not be getting any presents. Most little girls that are your age would want to get some presents but you are not getting any presents.  When my girls were your age, they wanted presents but not you….you are not getting any presents.”

 

I am a bad woman because it would have been my intention to repeat “not getting any presents” until the child finally realized that she was not getting any presents and threw her amazing little self on the floor in a crying, kicking tantrum.

 

 But, my devious and unkind plan was foiled by the kid running off and the mom having to chase after here. In hindsight, that was a good thing.

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