A post by TPS
I am good girl. Anyone that knows me will tell you that I am the uber good girl. I have no doubt in my mind that if you were to know me in real life you would have no trouble leaving your young child or elderly parent with me. Afterall not only am I a Teacher in a Christian Grade School but also our church piano player.
Being good is not always easy. Sometimes the angel on my left shoulder fights with the devil on my right. Almost always the angel wins out. However the devil on my right shoulder rails to have his say and that is what this section of this blog is all about. It’s the things that if I weren’t a good girl I would have said. It is exactly what is going on in my head that gets filtered out. Lucky you, you get to read it unflitered.
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Twice this week I’ve come across Wrinkly Old Bitches who have stared at my son like he is the plague. If you want to be bitchy that’s your business, when it affects my loved ones fear the wrath of Trailerpark Skipper.
Dear Wrinkly Old Bitches at Cracker Barrel and The Library,
My son is a normal 3 year old boy, not the plague for you to stare at down your nose like he is the bain to your existence. Yes he makes a mess in his wake, if your employer did not intend for you to clean these messes they would A)take the toy section out of your waiting area where we are forced to wait for 45 minutes. Having a 3 year old boy wait beside toys and asking him not to touch is like putting a Hungry Fat Chick in a Hostess Factory and asking her to keep her piggy finger to herself. B)take the Children’s Section out of the Library, so as not to encourage the Peanut Butter and Jelly Eating Monsters to visit. You would think you would be glad that he can read and wears shoes considering we are from WV.
I am so very sorry that your poor planning has your Wrinkly old ass working through your “Twilight” Years. However it is not acceptable to take it out on my child. Keep that shit up and I’ll encourage him to remove everything from the shelves you are responsible for, have him place the items in the floor and then sit back to laugh while I watch you return it to it’s rightful place.
Trailerpark Skipper
Tags: bad thoughts of a good girl, Cracker Barrel, good/bad girl, Hungry Fat Chick, Jelly Eating Monsters, old librarian, skipper rants, wrinkled bitches, wrinkled old bitches
Well done, TPS!!!!!
Dear regular readers and blogging friends….I am proud to announce that TraiperParkSkipper will be a regular contributor to this blog. She is smart and very funny. She makes me laugh more than almost anyone else on the planet. Come by and read her posts often and I’ll guaro-damn-tee ya that you will get a good laugh, too.
Beautiful. I’m so glad the TPB genes passed to the next generation. Also glad your child wear shoes considering, you know…what you said.
Hahaha, Jan. Yes, I decided to make those little varmits wear shoes when they learned to walk. Too many critters to step on around this place.
I was a waitress for about a year, and yeah, I enjoyed it. It was never a problem to serve families Unless
1. I worked my ass off for you and your family, and you didn’t tip me. What you left was a tornado of baby wipes, ketchup, cereal bits, and spilled beer. I ‘d clean it all up, it was my job, but a tip would have been appreciated.
2. You thought I was your babysitter. This was a bar actually, a restaurant as well, but when a parent would let their kids run rampant, bang on the juke box, dart board, and pool table, I would be trying to do my job but watch as the parent of the kid would chug down a Miller Lite, look around, and wonder where his/her kid was.
I was great at my job, problem was, the management was moronic and the restaurant closed just under a year. That and I earned 4.25 an hour, but they didnt make up your wages to minimum wage for each bad day, just the entire pay period. I’d get soooo screwed over.
Hi Vanessa…I’ve been wondering how you are doing!
Parents who bring their kids into bars need to be publicly whipped! HONESTLY…that’s ridiculous.
Gotta run and get ready for church. I’ll check you out on FB later today.
TPB
I have a theory on these grumpy old bitches. They see someone younger than themselves and boil over with resentment because that younger person has their whole life ahead of them, while the Grumpy Old Bitch is living on borrowed time.
When Im faced with such a person, I just make up a story in my head that explains their actions. It gets me through it without snapping at them.
Maybe your son reminds her of her own kids…who long ago stopped calling her hateful ass. Or maybe he looks a little like her husband Hershel looked in his childhood photos. You know, Hershel who ran off with a stewardess half his age, all of their retirement money and the Lincoln Town Car? The one who has forced her to slop fried food at Cracker Barrel just so she can scrape together enough pennies to eat the GOOD cat food that night?
I see you’ve thought this through, VV. And, must say that your theories are probably true.
Loved your comment. Now, I need to get TPS to read it. She’s been too busy with her cheap….I mean….frugal living blog…..LittleFrugalista. I think she’s working on how to make sheets out of one ply toilet paper or something like that. hahaha
Make sure you share with our site – TurboWhiteTrash – send in your pictures or funny stories to my e-mail – and I’ll make sure they are posted.
like mama like baby girl!
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Bravo TPS! Doesn’t it feel good to let the inner devil out, even if it is undercover? I’m a nice girl, too, but you’d never know it from the name of my blog, right?
I just had to quit one of my three volunteer jobs due to wrinkly old bitches and their tongue clucking judgmental ways. Gosh, there is nothing worse than being out in public and having to deal with someone who is clearly not doing their job (or volunteer job) in the right field. I HATE mean old ladies.
Your post makes me extra sad because I was planning on going to grad school to be a librarian once I got laid off, but now our state is closing down our best libraries, not to mention out of NWLB funds to pay my way. These old lady librarians we do have will never leave their few gigs here!
Good grief, GG….Thee volunteer jobs!!!!! I need to get off my hiney and give some time to help out somewhere, too. I’ve been thinking about volunteering at a battered woman’s shelter that is near my house. I’d like to be a child advocate but when I checked into that, I found that there are no child advocacy groups in my area. That’s sad.