Well, I finished my Christmas shopping today! YEAH!
Didn’t intend to and actually, it’s by default so don’t go to thinking that I’m organized or nothing like that.
I had a dermatologist appointment. It was 2 for 1 day! Two vials of Botox for the price of one! This was going to be my birthday treat to myself. I deserved it, dammit! I’ve had a rough year (and it was showing on my face).
I should know by now that I cannot resist something if I want it. Or, the doc presents it as a real bargain.
Doc…”We have another special on a NEW product (I’m a sucker for new products). You get a $75.00 check back in the mail! Plus, it’s priced at a holiday rate.”
She had me at “NEW”, “check back” and “holiday rate”. I didn’t stand a chance. A part of my brain ( a very tiny part) was telling me to stop and think about it. I was not intending to spend more money that I had allotted for “maintenance”. LOL It cracks me up that it’s called a maintenance procedure. Seems that once you’ve attacked and gotten rid of those pesky wrinkles (not all of them, just some), you have to do UPKEEP!
Plus, I had shelled out over hundred bucks for Latisse, the new product being touted to grow long and luscious lashes. Brooke Shields says that it works and that’s good enough for me. Actually, I had bought the Latisse before and it did grow hair (warning…be careful if you buy it to watch where you put it!) I am eyebrow-challenged….never really had any. Most people think that this is a blessing since I don’t have to pluck but do you have any idea how much like an old ,ancient,recently dead long time in-the-ground Bette Davis you can end up looking like if you don’t draw your eyebrows on just right with an eyebrow pencil. There has been more than one (dozen or more) occasions that I would get ready to go out and happen to catch sight of my eyebrows in my car’s rearview mirror and find myself looking at “What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?”. I’d be several miles away from home and have nothing to fix them with. And, there has been the embarrassing occasion that I drew on one eyebrow and then would get distracted by the phone ringing or something. I’d realize that I’d had totally forgotten about the other one when while having conversations with people and find them staring at my eyebrows one eyebrow. Regular readers (yeah, I’m up to *) know that I’ve had eyebrow mishaps in the past. So, I figured…heck, I’m WHITE TRASH WITH MONEY now so I might as well do something white trashy with it. So, Happy Birthday to me from me. I can fulfill my dream to have an actual set of eyebrows.
So, long story short….I spent much more money than I had planned to de-wrinkle, maintain, and grow hair on my face. In fact, I spent just about all of the money that I had left to finish Christmas shopping. But, I’m not really too worried. I’ve got a plan! Everyone on my Christmas list who hasn’t been bought for yet will receive a Christmas card with one of the following pictures of me getting the needle. Yes, this are indeed actual pictures of me taken today. I asked the nurse to take them with my camera that I had been carrying in my purse. Why do I carry a camera around in my purse? Because I have been trying to get pics to send to the website People Of WalMart. Dang it…everytime I try to sneak up on someone in WalMart and take a pic, I get caught!
So, without any more jabbering, here I am…..(no make-up! Y’all don’t realize how much courage this took to post. NO MAKE-UP!)
Now….the BIGGER needle…
…..and once more, the BIG-ASS needle…..
So, one of these pictures (probably the first one) will be the cover of my Christmas card/letter to my nearest and dearest.
On the inside, I will write….
“I hope this proves how much that I love you all. This hurt like hell but being the wonderful person that I am, I subjected myself to intense pain and had to overcome the fear of big-ass needles so you would be proud of me as your mother/sister/aunt/niece/nana/wife/and, or, friend. I sacrificed because you deserve it!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
PS….just wait until you see what I do for you on your birthday/anniversary/promotion/new birth/Valentine’s Day/Easter/etc. I do it because I care!”
Unfortunately, I don’t have any pictures of me this evening. But, I promise you that I look very similar to this….
Now…gotta run and find some ice packs!
Tags: big-ass needle, Botox, Christmas shopping, eyebrow mishaps, holiday shopping story, Humor, just another white trash day, Latisse, make-up mishaps, no eyebrows, Redneck Life, self sacrifice, swollen face, white trash christmas, white trash shopping, white trash with money
Happy Birthday! What do you want for Christmas?
AH…well, since you asked (and I know that you are going to be our next prez and Nobel prize winner), liposuction would be a grand gift. If ya wanna wait until you get in office and name me as a cabinet member, I can be patient. Merry Christmas!
Happy Birthday!
When you can smear it on your face and get actual results, I’m in. Until then, well, I’m a well documented coward. A wrinkled, well documented coward. Sorta tightened up just looking at your pictures!
cute…ya don’t have to go the needle way. There are lasers…which hurt like hell. And, then there is the old standby, nip and tuck. But, unless they’ve come up with something new within the last 24 hours (I do keep a check), needles will still be involved.
Ouch! Next time you go, can you make a big scene and flail your arms around and grab a syringe or two of botox in the process? There’s a furrow in my brow that I’d like to get rid of.
V V…don’t think that I haven’t thought about that!
However, this visit was a 2fer…BOGO..so, the next time, I’ll take you and tell them to give you the “free” one.
One thing that was REALLY good that came out of that visit was I sweet-talked her into seeing TPKen. He had a place on his face for months now. I kept telling him that he needed to go see about it. He wouldn’t listen to me or Skipper or Midge. Finally, his hairdresser told him that he should go see about it and he asked me make him an appt. The derma office was booked until the end of Feb. So, while I was there, I pleaded his case and…VOILA!…he got in yesterday morning. It was melanoma. That’s the bad news. The good news is they cut it out right then! So, I figure it was God’s will for me to go get the Botox. (hey, I got justify it somehow!)
Hope to see you at Christmas. I’m getting ready to go to C-town. I’ll email ya later tonight about who/what/where/when/ and if.