A friend from “up north” (one of those Yanks) sent this to me. I liked it and hope that you like it, too.

Face it…if you don’t, you are not a real REDNECK…..

 

We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It’s time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I’d choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up.. Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit — that’s what rednecks are made of. I hope I am one of those. 

 Ya’ll know who ya ‘ll are so stand up right this second and holler, “Hell Yes! I’m a bona-fide redneck and PROUD of it!”

 You might be a redneck if:

It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, ‘One nation, under God.’

 You might be a redneck if: You’ve never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

 You might be a redneck if: You still say ‘ Christmas’ instead of ‘Winter Festival.’

You might be a redneck if you bow your head when someone prays.

 You might be a redneck if you stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.

You might be a redneck if you treat our armed forces veterans with great respect, and always have.

 You might be a redneck if you’ve never burned an American flag, nor intend to.

 You might be a redneck if you know what you believe and you aren’t afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

You might be a redneck if you respect your elders and raised your kids to do the same.

You might be a redneck if you’d give your last dollar to a friend.

OK…the next part is my own personal “Ya Might Be A Redneck”

Ya might be a redneck if your cleaning lady shows up with a shiner. I asked her who punched her in the eye and she said that she had gotten into a brawl with her ex-boyfriend’s new sweetie. I asked her if she had given the girlfriend a black eye to match her and she said that she not only black both of her eyes but had, also, put so many bruises on her that she will need one of those don-nut O pillows to sit on for a month.

I just love that girl. She’s a little redneck spitfire hellcat. We spent half of the time that she was here dancing to Lynard Skynard. Who says that you shouldn’t fraternize with the hired help. “S” is a lot of fun. So what if we waste half of her paid time laughing, dancing, and talking? And, TPKen comes home and says, “Didn’t “S” come to help you clean today?

BTW….I said that I wouldn’t NEVER hire someone to help me clean. But, when TPKen insisted on building “The Big House”,  I told  him that I was not going to spend my entire life cleaning. I said we could hire somebody to help out or call A&E to do a documentary on hoarding. Well, I’m not in the league of those people but there is a woman down the road who seriously could compete with any hoarder. Her yard is full of  broken concrete lawn-fawns, gnomes and grass-asses (you know…those wooden cut-outs of people bending over), Mother Mary statues with broken arms and noses, etc. She goes around the city on free garbage pick-up day (on that day, you can throw away big items like sofas and stuff) and grabs stuff. I’ve been wanting to take a picture of her house but I can’t tell when she is home or not. There certainly is no way to sneak up on her. And, she doesn’t hesitate to pull a pistol out of bra (yes, her bra) and aim. I’m not scared of many people but she is one of which I steer clear.

Back to “S”…..she has a tragic story, actually. Hooked on Oxycontin, crack, and other drugs, she hit rock bottom and is trying hard to climb back up. She lost custody of her kids but recently got them back. She cleans houses for a living and does a darn good job of it. She’s a hard worker and doesn’t mind doing anything that you ask of her. Ya know, she could be sitting on her ass like so many young women (she is 27) do around her and draw a welfare check. But, she knows that would only lead to a life of  probably getting back on drugs.

“S”’s water got cut off a few months ago. She called the water company and they said that she had run up a $600 water bill in 2 months. She told them that was impossible and asked them to check for a leak. They did and told her that the leak must be in her house somewhere and that they could not do anything. So, turned off her meter and disconnected a water pipe. “S” went to Lowe’s, bought a new pipe, and hooked it back up herself. When the meter reader was in her neighborhood , he noticed the new pipe. He went to her door and told her that she owed the water company for the water that she was using. She said, “Prove it! I don’t have a meter to read” and shut the door in his face. That girl has more balls than most men that I know! Gotta love a Redneck Woman like that!