If you are a blogger like me, then I’ll bet you get tired of using the same ol’ curse words over and over. Fret no more! I have found the perfect solution to all those boring “asshole”, “dickwad”, “biotch”, and other over-used and common white trash gutter words.
Recently, while in an Urban Outfitters, I found this masterpiece of literacy…..
(sorry for the light glare on the pictures)
Priced at only$9.95 plus tax, this book has proved to be worth every single penny. Believe me, blogging friends, you will want more than one copy. Personally, I am going to purchase 2 more copies….one for my office and another to keep in my car.
No more screaming out a bland “Hey, buttmunch” at the person who cut me off in traffic. No! No! No! With just a flip of the pages, I can find grade-A, colorful random phrases such as…..
or……
and one of my personal favs…..
I am not going to take the time to take pictures of the whole book but there are, also, delightful combo phrases such as…..
diaper biter, bitch sniffer, diaper muncher,cooch dangler,pube flap,slut chunk,fetus pincher,poop plug, and sooooo many more!
I strongly urge any serious blogger to buy a copy of this mix and match profanity generator as soon as possible. Amaze your readers, friends, co-workers, neighbors, and family with your endless supply of original curse words. You’ll never lose an argument again. Who could possibly come up with a retort to “Oh yeah, well, you are a scum licking scrotum junkie!”
Just imagine all the last words that you can get in while arguing with a know-it-all blogging troll who has attacked your opinion that you have posted on something.
I love this book so much that I think that I will buy everyone on my Christmas list a copy!!!!!
I will use this book for my campaign speeches. I am tired of sounding like a schlong chunk!
By: Ahmnodt Heare on June 9, 2009
at 8:50 pm
Smart move, Ahmnodt Heare! Your speeches will be forever remembered!
PS You can buy this book on Amazon or most of the other internet books stores.
PSS What are you running for?
PSSS Should I vote for you?
By: trailerparkbarbie on June 9, 2009
at 9:25 pm
I am running for the president of the United States. I ran in 2008 and received seven votes. (It would have been eight, but I didn’t vote because I became flustered and had to be escorted from the voting place.)
By: Ahmnodt Heare on June 9, 2009
at 10:21 pm
What party? Not that it matters much these days.
Why not get Acorn on your side? They can register a bazillion voters for you!
By: trailerparkbarbie on June 9, 2009
at 10:30 pm
I am running as an independent. ACORN has too much baggage so I have gotten involved with WALNUT. http://ahmnodtheare.wordpress.com/2008/10/14/join-walnut/
By: Ahmnodt Heare on June 10, 2009
at 2:20 pm
WALNUT? LMAO
By: trailerparkbarbie on June 10, 2009
at 8:19 pm
unbelievable yet true: i had to break myseflf from typing F-ing this and that in each post. love that flip book. remember those ones from the 80s? said words like “stupid” to flash at drivers from your car. pissed me off when one fucking asshole flipped me the bird and the “stupid” page all at once.
By: Stephany on June 9, 2009
at 10:54 pm
You NEED this book, Steph! It makes up words that I never would have thought of!
By: trailerparkbarbie on June 9, 2009
at 11:02 pm
Plus, Steph, with today’s kids, it might come in handy with the rugrats that you teach! LOL
By: trailerparkbarbie on June 9, 2009
at 11:08 pm
LOL
By: Stephany on June 10, 2009
at 12:27 am
I LOVE LOVE LOVE the books they have at Urban Outfitters! LOL! They have these sort of road signs on a stick that you can flash at passing motorists too…I want them in my stocking, and if I dont get them, well then Santa is just a scum licking scrotum junkie.
By: The Vinyl Villager on June 10, 2009
at 8:20 am
VV… I saw those. Really cool! You need to borrow a stocking from a really big footed fesces bandit in order to fit those signs in. Find a cooch wanker with really big feet and steal his/her socks when they are not looking!
By: trailerparkbarbie on June 10, 2009
at 10:04 am
I know just the big footed cootch wanker to steal it from!
By: The Vinyl Villager on June 10, 2009
at 10:29 am
Put me on your Christmas list for that book. I am working on my cussing up a blue streak diploma!
By: Noe Noe Girl on June 10, 2009
at 9:07 am
NoeNoe….I’m beginning to think that I might be a bad influence on you. This makes me feel like a testicle gobbler who is really sad. This same thing has happened to me twice before with panty wanking best friends. I was dumped as BFF on orders from their parents who happened to be the biggest penis monkeys that ever walked the face of this earth. I try to be a loyal fanny skankin’ true slut sniffing best friend but I end up a lone tit stain. I just don’t get it!
So, do as I say and not as I do. Don’t act like a snot raggin’ ass fungus just because I do. You are better than that!!!!
By: trailerparkbarbie on June 10, 2009
at 10:12 am
My beloved FWOB, Stan,
I thought that you had deserted me when I no longer met your some-what twisted blogging needs.
I felt a strong rush of relief when I saw that you had taken your much in-demand time to comment (or maybe, it was the huge expelling of gas that relieved me).
I have no doubt that you would find this book to be useless in your library. I mean, afterall, you provoke strong feelings of emotions in mean and do it without uttering even one verbal sound.
But, this post could prove useful to you anyway. Prehaps it will inspire you to reach for the stars and write your own self-help book.
I have no doubt that you could easily top such phrases as “ass chunking tampon bagger shit muncher”. I’d bet my GM dealership that you could easily top “dick munching fanny licking fart waffle”.
As a matter of fact, I have so much confidence in your vocabulary, I challenge you to write an intelligent creative cursing manual that would be used by those of us on the Mensa IQ level. (or menses would be swell, too).
If you meet my challenge, I will proudly display and sell your book in my Church of the Dali Mama bookstore/gift shop.
Don’t let me down, you nipple biting diaper clot!
Still yours til the cows come home or Ooooobama admits that he is a pube diddling scrotum packer.
TPB….Your bestest ever FWOB
By: trailerparkbarbie on June 10, 2009
at 10:01 am