I’ve seen a Top 10 C &W list before but this one is new to me. I got this in my email today and thought a few of you might get a chuckle or two from it.
Top Ten Country & Western Songs.
10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine
9. I Ain’t Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few
8. If The Phone Don’t Ring, You’ll Know It’s Me
7. I’ve Missed You, But My Aim’s Improvin’
6. Wouldn’t Take Her To A Dogfight ‘Cause I’m Scared She’d Win
5. I’m So Miserable Without You It’s Like You’re Still Here
4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him
3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger
2. She’s Lookin’ Better with Every Beer
And the Number One Country & Western song is . . .
1. It’s Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day Long.
are these real songs?? If they aren’t they should be! Too good!!
(oh, and I worked out the email glitch we’ve been talking about…SIXTEEN within the first few hours)
By: The Vinyl Villager on February 26, 2009
at 5:15 pm
How about – “How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?”
By: The Incredible Woody on February 26, 2009
at 5:18 pm
How about-”You’re Ugly and Your Mother Dresses You Funny.”
Do you have the words to #3??
By: Noe Noe Girl on February 26, 2009
at 6:14 pm
Woody…true in so many ways.
Noe…I’m not sure but I think it goes something like this….
I gave her a ring
And without a word
She took my bling
And shot me the bird!
Now, I feel lonley and blue
She gave me that zinger
And she cut me right thru
With one little finger.
OK…everybody…come on…add a verse or two!
By: trailerparkbarbie on February 26, 2009
at 9:49 pm
That was the ringer
When she gave me the finger
I didnt have a clue
She’d say F U, F U.
By: Noe Noe Girl on February 27, 2009
at 3:55 pm
Noe..bwahahahah Very good!
I thought it would last
‘Til she showed me her digit
Then she left really fast
With an ugly-ass midget!
Your turn????
By: trailerparkbarbie on February 27, 2009
at 4:03 pm
It broke my heart
That was the stinger
If I had known
I’d given her the finger!
By: Noe Noe Girl on February 27, 2009
at 5:11 pm
Now, I’m sad and blue
But here’s a wise word
You’ll know that your thru
When she gives you the bird!!!
Hey, Noe…I think we might have a hit here!!!!
By: trailerparkbarbie on February 27, 2009
at 5:55 pm
We need to find a publisher!
And take this show on the road =)
By: Noe Noe Girl on February 27, 2009
at 6:10 pm
I thought our love would last for all time.
until my wallet she did nickel and dime.
I couldn’t stand it any more.
I kicked her ass right out the door.
By: justakrusen on February 27, 2009
at 10:12 pm
justakrusen….good one. Maybe, Noe, you, and I should form a trio and go on the C&W circuit.
By: trailerparkbarbie on February 27, 2009
at 11:25 pm
That is one hell of a funny post. Your new avatar scares the hell out of me.
By: thegirlfromtheghetto on February 28, 2009
at 3:38 am
I have that mannequin head. I took pics of it for the fun of it. TrailerParkSkipper bought it for me last Christmas. I call her either Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds or Miss Tammy Faye. I have her sitting on a small table in front of the window in an upstaris room. You can’t help but see her when you pull up. I’ve had several people ask who/what that is at the window!!!!
By: trailerparkbarbie on February 28, 2009
at 4:25 am
TPB, I think we are on to something here!
By: Noe Noe Girl on March 1, 2009
at 9:33 pm
My oh my what can I say
Take this ring and dont delay
If you think this is the bird
You are right you little turd.
By: Noe Noe Girl on March 1, 2009
at 10:41 pm
Roses are red and pansies are yellow.
Thank you for running off with that fellow.
I didn’t mind you taking my pet frog.
But dammit girl send back my dog.
By: Mark on March 1, 2009
at 11:01 pm
Dang….y’all are regular Rodgers and Hammersteins…or Flat and Scrugs (Beverly Hillbillies songsters).
Somebody better copywrite all of this before we hear Billy Ray and Miley singing it on CMT.
By: trailerparkbarbie on March 2, 2009
at 1:59 am
TPB-should we pick another song? This is way to much fun and now I think we may have a following!
By: Noe Noe Girl on March 4, 2009
at 8:00 pm