I’ve seen a Top 10 C &W list before but this one is new to me. I got this in my email today and thought a few of you might get a chuckle or two from it.
Top Ten Country & Western Songs.
10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine
9. I Ain’t Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few
8. If The Phone Don’t Ring, You’ll Know It’s Me
7. I’ve Missed You, But My Aim’s Improvin’
6. Wouldn’t Take Her To A Dogfight ‘Cause I’m Scared She’d Win
5. I’m So Miserable Without You It’s Like You’re Still Here
4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him
3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger
2. She’s Lookin’ Better with Every Beer
And the Number One Country & Western song is . . .
1. It’s Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day Long.
are these real songs?? If they aren’t they should be! Too good!!
(oh, and I worked out the email glitch we’ve been talking about…SIXTEEN within the first few hours)
How about – “How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?”
How about-”You’re Ugly and Your Mother Dresses You Funny.”
Do you have the words to #3??
Woody…true in so many ways.
Noe…I’m not sure but I think it goes something like this….
I gave her a ring
And without a word
She took my bling
And shot me the bird!
Now, I feel lonley and blue
She gave me that zinger
And she cut me right thru
With one little finger.
OK…everybody…come on…add a verse or two!
That was the ringer
When she gave me the finger
I didnt have a clue
She’d say F U, F U.
Noe..bwahahahah Very good!
I thought it would last
‘Til she showed me her digit
Then she left really fast
With an ugly-ass midget!
Your turn????
It broke my heart
That was the stinger
If I had known
I’d given her the finger!
Now, I’m sad and blue
But here’s a wise word
You’ll know that your thru
When she gives you the bird!!!
Hey, Noe…I think we might have a hit here!!!!
We need to find a publisher!
And take this show on the road =)
I thought our love would last for all time.
until my wallet she did nickel and dime.
I couldn’t stand it any more.
I kicked her ass right out the door.
justakrusen….good one. Maybe, Noe, you, and I should form a trio and go on the C&W circuit.
That is one hell of a funny post. Your new avatar scares the hell out of me.
I have that mannequin head. I took pics of it for the fun of it. TrailerParkSkipper bought it for me last Christmas. I call her either Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds or Miss Tammy Faye. I have her sitting on a small table in front of the window in an upstaris room. You can’t help but see her when you pull up. I’ve had several people ask who/what that is at the window!!!!
TPB, I think we are on to something here!
My oh my what can I say
Take this ring and dont delay
If you think this is the bird
You are right you little turd.
Roses are red and pansies are yellow.
Thank you for running off with that fellow.
I didn’t mind you taking my pet frog.
But dammit girl send back my dog.
Dang….y’all are regular Rodgers and Hammersteins…or Flat and Scrugs (Beverly Hillbillies songsters).
Somebody better copywrite all of this before we hear Billy Ray and Miley singing it on CMT.
TPB-should we pick another song? This is way to much fun and now I think we may have a following!