Well, it’s finally here. For two years, we’ve been bombarded with negative ads, debates, 24/7 sound bites, and even an entire 30 minute episodes of Obama Luv Fest.
Before I write anything else, I just want to urge each and everyone of you to GO VOTE!!!! PLEASE!
I’m preparing to go vote in just a little while. I fell asleep on the sofa last night and did not do my voting ritual of laying out my special election outfit. Now, I’m in a major panic trying to find a suitable outfit.
One must present themselves as a serious person when arriving at the polling place.
Here are some pictures of the most popular outfits that you will see in my area at the polls…..
This oh-so-daring-let-your-rolls-hang-out tank top and tight jeans is favored by the voters who go just before the polls close. These voters have been up all night listening to “Free Bird”, drinking Blue Ribbon beer, and eating canned spray cheese on crackers. After sleeping most of the day, they dress for voting and in hopes of finding an election parteeeee. I will not be wearing this one.
Here we have the outfit worn by a voter hoping to make a little extra money at the polls (If you know what I mean. wink wink). This woman is most likely not even registered and therefore, can not vote. But, she will hang out in the parking lot offering sympathy to voters who believe that their candidate is losing. I will not be wearing this one, either.
Around these parts, men have a tendency to squat and sit on their haunches if waiting in a line for anything. Actually, this is not limited to just men. Women may, also, be seen in this comfy, casual outfit. Zilch on this one for me but I’m sure some of my friends will be wearing it.
And, here, we have some of the many t-shirts with sayings on the front that will be visible at the polls. These shirts are usually matched up with the butt-jeans above. I will not be wearing any of these, either.
Definitely one of the most popular hair styles worn by white trash women (and men) standing in the voting booth line. Next most popular is the 80′s bad perm and poof…..
(PS…Big Hair Envy….doesn’t this bring back some memories?)
A majority of men will be wearing the mullet or a various of it. This next “do” comes in a very close second with men (and some women)……
This style is favored by local politicians who stand the legal amount allowed away from the polls holding signs with their names on them.
I will not be wearing any of those styles. I would be happy to wear the “poofy” but BigHairEnvy has all of the Aqua Net in the world stashed in a secret place.
Here I am inserting a picture of what the average poll worker looks like at my polling place……….
Absolutely no nonsene from this lady while working. She takes her job very seriously. But, watch out!!!!! After the voting is over and all votes are counted, she’ll be doing a bump-and-grind number on top of a table at the local bar with total abandoment!!!! Please take note of the flannel shirt….another MUST in local white trash fashion.
Although, tempted to wear a flannel shirt, it’s going to be in the high 70′s here today. I’m leaning toward a cooler (temp and fashion) outfit…..now whre did I put that t-shirt that I ordered last week…..
I would just love to show you some more fashions but I gotta run. It takes a while to get my blue eyeshadow just right!
Tags: blue eyeshadow, buttcrack jeans, combover, femullet, Taz, voting, white trash election fashion, white trash voting, white trash voting fashion, white trash with cash
I dont understand people still rocking a mullet or a poof. Do they not have a decent hairdresser? Or girlfriends? Or a nice gay neighbor to advise them against it? Or do they not have TV, a magazine subscription or ANYTHING to clue them into the fact that they are about 20 years past prime?
I didnt see any of those folks at the polls this morning, but I did see at least a dozen who came in their pajamas.
oh…and no joke, one of the last times I was in WV, I saw a woman coming out of the only a dollar store (naturally) wearing black stirrup pants, green high heels, a Tweety Bird t shirt and formal costume jewelry.
The problem is that the ones without the mullets stick out like sore thumbs – they are outcasts!!
Woody…apparently, you’ve visted this area? LOL
VV…PJ’s are becoming fairly common as everyday attire around here. Why do rednecks, hicks, and white trash (except me, of course) like those damn cartoon character t-shirts so much? Oh, and Guess clothes is still big around here. But, then, this is “knock-off” city. 99% of the women around here are carrying “Coach” handbags. Or, Gucci (which I’ve heard pronounced “Gookki”!
I just had a visitor, VV. YM (yo mama).
HIlarious! My favorite is the woman’s version of a mullet. Boy – I saw quite a few of those when I lived in North Carolina!
I’m digging that top picture! Bring on the oh-so-daring-let-your-rolls-hang-out tank top and tight jeans. She’s Hawt!
TU…sweetie, I’m just not sure that you could handle all of that hawtness!
Allison….femullets are the #2 hair-do around here. They come in second only to dry, brittle, bleached-out, permed dos with black roots. Number three would be the Penecostal bun.
NOW do you understand why I keep the Aqua Net hidden away? I cannot continue to be an enabler to people who refuse to enter this century. I saw several of the people you posted lurking around my car when I was in line to vote yesterday. I’m convinced they could smell the Aqua Net residue. It’s impossible to get the smell out.
Yes, I understand now, BHE. You are wise to hide it. There could be danger….even explosions…if it fell into the wrong hands.
Fabulous fashions that The Girl from the Ghetto approves of! I just love the Mr. T shirt, lol!!!
I would love to have one of those white trash with cash,
although unlike kid rock I’m just white trash,
that’s what poor white people are
shea…..Bless your heart! (If you are really white trash, you will recognize that as the standard WT reply to express understanding and/or sympathy.
Just hang in there and something good will happen.
You could
1.Win the lottery
2.Work hard
3.Marry into money
4. Sue a rich person and/or big company
5.Acquire a stable of reliable, hard-working ho’s.
Remember, honey. We live in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA and dreams do come true.
“wondering to myself if Shea will buy that crock of crap”