13 Heads and Still Growing…..

I’ve never been much of a collector of anything. Well, that’s not  unless you count my dust bunny collection or my dryer lint collection……. which I had big plans to turn into art that would sell for gazillion big-ass dollars.I got that idea from a cool website.  I Saw This Lovely Picture At This Site.

But, as with almost everything else, I quickly lost interest. Then, there was the one time that I decided to collect discarded goth dolls…..…….only to discover that there are not that many. If you look at the upper right (Flickr pic), that is a discarded doll that somebody in my neigborhood threw up in a tree. I couldn’t climb high enough to get her down, though. That’s when I gave up the discarded doll idea.

But then I was given an unusal gift by TrailerParkSkipper for Christmas three or four years ago. It was a set of pottery shot glasses…..two eyes, one nose, and one mouth. I immediately fell in love with them. Since that time, I have been collecting body part pottery. The most expensive pieces that I have are Ugly Jugs/Jughead pottery heads. They are made by a native West Virgian named Ed Klimek. I love Ed’s pottery. The faces are so expressive. Ed’s wife has commented on my blog a time or two but it’s been a while since she has been around.  (Nancy, if you happen to come by, please tell Ed that I should qualify for a discount by now. OK?)

I have 13 pottery heads and most of them were made by Ed. Here’s some pictures of the Jugheads in my kitchen. I have renamed them (sorry, Ed) because each of them reminds me of a family member.

The jug on the left reminds me of my Dad. That cigarette laying in the middle of the shelf is fake. I let each of my Jugheads take turn smokin’ it.

 

 

Here, on the left, is my brother, the redneck infamous car wash dweller and flea market entrepreneur. Notice his ciggie……it stays in his mouth all the time just like in real life.   Let me introduce you to Lucy, the one in the middle. She is my latest acquistion. She is ME. Check out those hawwwt lucious lips!  I just got Lucy yesterday. It was my husband’s birthday and we (TPS and TPM and husbands) all went to Tamarack to have lunch. Tamarack is a big-ass tourist trap (except for eating lunch or dinner which is provided by the world famous Greenbrier ). Due to having to mediate hurt feelings between family members, I figured that I deserved Lucy! Lucy as my mediation award. On the other side of Lucy is Ralph, my half brother. Ralph died several years ago but that big-ass head is just like having him around still yet.

And, here we have Anna Nicole Smith’s toothless cousin, Shelley, on the left. Any ANS’s TV show watchers will know who I am talking about. On the right is my big sister, Chris.  I know that y’all are wondering if my sister was that weird looking. And the answer is….yes….and no. Yes because she had big solid black eyes (even though the Jughead’s are blue) and she had a couple of crooked lower teeth. Chris died on Mother’s Day 2 years ago. But, as with Ralph, I feel like she’s still here when I look at the big-ass head.

 

These two jugs do not look like any of my family members. The one on the left, I call “Ghetto Daddy” and the one on the right is Herman Munster. I think TrailerParkKen bought these two because he waits to go Christmas or birthday shopping until the night before and Tamarack was in low supply on big-ass heads.

I love these jugs not only for the way they look but they serve other roles. They are the “people” that I rant and biotch to when no one else is around. But, their best role is as my “audience”. I play air guitar, sing, put on dance recitals, etc. and this audience always thinks that I am da bomb diggity. They smile, whistle, and applaud (in my head) because if they didn’t, I would smash their big-ass heads!

I saved the best for last. It’s not pottery as you will see. This is, also, named Lucy. TPS bought her for me last year. I keep her at an upstairs window stitting on a little table looking out the window. I forget that she is there and when people ask me who is upstairs looking out, I go, “HUH?” Soon as they start to descirbe her, I damn near laugh my big-ass ass off……PRESENTING LUCY #1

Sometimes, I put hats and glasses on her if she looks really bored.

While I’m thinking about it, I’m going to test TrailerParkBarbie to see if she reallys comes and reads this blog. I’m about to post a picture of her that she definitely will not like. So, if I get a phone call consisting of me saying, “Hello” and than her screaming in my ear, I’ll know that she is actually reading it. But, if I get no call, then I will know that I can go ahead and put anything about her that I want to on here.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA

So, that’s my post for today.

UNLESS YOU WANT MORE PICS????????

I really wanting to post a political rant. A post about how damn stupid the coal miners are around here. And, I won’t take any crap from anybody who wants to comment about me calling the coal miners “stupid”. They are my neigbors, friends, and family members. And, they never question the UMWA telling them who to vote for in an election. There’s a possibility that my big-ass heads use their brains (which are non-exsistent) more often than these dumb asses do.

I feel better now. The last paragraph was good therapy and I didn’t have to pay a shrink a gazillion bucks!