…...no way you could love it as much as this man loved his picnic table…
BELLEVUE — Police say a man in Bellevue was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table. 
Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.
The neighbor — who wishes to remain anonymous — saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole for the umbrella to have sex. The most recent instance took place March 14, we’re told. A neighbor videotaped Price.
“The first video we had, he was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table,” Johnson says. Police say Price admitted to the crimes — four charges of public indecency. Usually these sorts of things are misdemeanors, but in this case, they are felonies. “What boosts it up to a felony is that the statute says if it’s likely to be viewed by a minor,” Johnson explains.The Price family did not want to talk with us, but neighbors did. Some are not happy Price was released on his own recognizance. “He shouldn’t be allowed just for the fact that he could do that again — and nude that close to a school. That should be zero tolerance,” says Brice Jacobs, a neighbor.
Price is married with three school-aged children. Neighbors tell us they’re now worried about the kids. “Hopefully it stays between the adults and the kids don’t get a lot of the information so they aren’t so cruel to the little kids,” says Emily Grote, a neighbor.This case has police in this small town shaking their heads. “Once you think you’ve seen it all, something else comes around,” Johnson says.
I can’t think of a thing to say about this except….
At least he brought his own mayonnaise to the picnic.
Yes, that’s a nasty thing to say but I just could not resist it.
Today’s piece of shitcake goes to Picnic Table Lover…… 
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Filed under: Freaky People, People In The News, Really Dumb People, Sex, Shit Cake | Tagged: man arrested for table sex, man has sex with picnic table, strange story, weird sex
I hope he didnt get a splinter…
I thought that same thing myself. Sure hoped he removed the umbrella first.
I was gonna make a splinter comment, but the VV beat me to it (great minds…).
Mayo? I was thinking “special sauce”…
What does he do for kicks when the kids ARE home from school?
I don’t see what the big deal is.
Was the table underage or something?
Bagel…that’s funny! Actually, I think it was smuggled in from across Bangkok for sexual purposes.
I wonder if the table will be able to move on…..
Probably not without counseling from a chaise lounge.
Funny comment!
[...] Of course somebody videotaped it, call the cops? Wait, let me get my camera first. This issue is now tabled. Thanks Barbie [...]
“tabled”….LOL GLS….in more ways than one!
I’ve been thinking about this and you’d think he’d desire something like a swing. A swing can move.
Not that I say around and think about outdoor furniture. Too cold outside now.
About a week after this story was in the news I was driving to work and there by the side of the road was a round table out for the trash. It was on it’s side with the umbrella removed so the center hole was staring right at me. Have you check out the size of one of those holes? Unless there are smaller versions out there, I have to say that after seeing that table I was no longer just disgusted but somewhat impressed.