How ‘Bout Another Helping of Cooter?

Well, Easter is almost here. And, being a person of faith, I realize the real meaning of Easter. Our Lord rose again and that’s great news for all of us!

But, we, also, have those never-ending Easter traditions of a new Sunday-go-to-meeting outfit and a big-ass Easter dinner. Yes, your read that right. I am a Christian and I did use the word “ass”. I’ve yet to see a list of cuss words in the Bible that have any of the cuss words we use today on it. Plus, I think Jesus has a great sense of humor. At least, I hope so.

I’m not much on buying new Easter clothes. I mean, for pete’s sake, you are only in the BIG ROOM (sanctuary) for about an hour. Unless, I’m asked to give some type of special reading, singing, or interpretive dance, I’m not too worried about what I wear.

But, for lack of motivation to do anything constructive today, I decided to check out the Easter outfits that are being offered up by some of my favorite stores.

Ollie’s Pool Hall and Nascar Memorabilia had this little number in the window: I went in to ask Ollie about it. He wasn’t there but his twin sister, Lolly, was. Turns out that Lolly hand makes these haute couture bonnets. And, ya can order them in any color that you want. But, there was another one that caught my fancy…..….and as luck would have it, Ollie had come back and tried it on for me. There was another hat made of peeps that I really was hankering for but I knew that I’d have all them little sugary chickens eaten off my head by the heathen children that get bussed in to church on Easter.

Now, I had an idea of about a hat and needed a dress. I walked on down Main St. to Marge’s Dress Barn and Psychic Readings to see what I could come up with.

There was this lovely “Half-Pint” looking number. But, I didn’t want to be tempted to call a deacon, “Pa”…..

Then there was this nice, hand-made dress which would have gone well with my hand-made by Lolly hat…. The big plus on this one was that you could hide Easter eggs all over me and the kids would never find them.

But, my eyes seized upon this and tears welled up in my eyes……… PERFECT! It would make a lovely outfit to wear to Cousin Jeananne’s wedding next month, too! And, white goes with everything.

I was so relieved that part was over with. Now, time to plan and shop for Easter dinner. I wanted a traditional southern Easter dinner so as soon as I got home, I opened my “White Trash Cookbook”…….(and, I do seriously have this cookbook)…..

Let’s see….where was that recipe? Ah ha…..page 159……FRIED COOTER! Admittedly, the only reason that it is my fav is because it sounds dirty. And, I just love to urge all my dinner guests to try my cooter.

FRIED COOTER

When the cooter sticks his head out, cut it off with a hatchet. Then open him/her up down the sides. Skin his/her legs and wash the meat. Salt, pepper, and flour the cooter (hmm…I think you can do this to a cooter for activities other than cooking) and fry it in a deep grease in a deep-fat fryer just like chicken. YUM YUM

BTW…Cooter season runs between August 1st and April 14th

Every time that we have family gatherings featuring cooter, we all laugh again and again when Uncle Sid says this prayer:

Bless the meat and

Darn the skin,

Open your mouth

And cram it in!

(I hope he’s referring to eating dinner but he does wink like a lecherous old lounge lizard every time he says it).

Along with the fried cooter, we have “Elmo’s Hush-Up Puppies”, “Homalene’s special bean dish”, yellowed-eyed deviled eggs, and Auntie Wheezer’s cheese pie. There’s always a variety of desserts, like, Suella’s Gooey Balls or Uncle Kermit’s Hermits.

 

So, guess I’d better get busy making my store list.

HAPPY EASTER

Anybody want a heapin’ helpin’ of cooter?????