My Brother Lives In A Car Wash…..

 

“Well, I should be sittin’ in an air-conditioned
office in a swivel chair
Talkin’ some trash to the secratary sayin’
(spoken) hey now mama come on over here
But still I’m stuck here rubbin’ these fenders with a rag
and walkin’ home in soggy old shoes
With them steadily deppressin’, low-down mind-messin’
workin’ at the car wash blues

You know a man of my ability
he should be smokin’ on a big cigar
But till I get myself straight I guess I’ll just have to wait
in my rubber suit rubbin’ these cars

Well all I can do is shake my head, you might not believe that it’s true
but workin’ at this indoor Niagra falls is an undiscovered Howard Hughes
So baby, don’t ’spect to see me with no double martini in any high-brow society news
cause I got them steadily deppressin’, low-down mind-messin’ workin’ at the car wash blues”….from Jim Croce….”Car Wash Blues”

Well, at least he’s not a illegal sqautter in a tent on state-owned property any longer as he once was. Or, married to a woman and making her sleep in the extra bedroom so his trusty hound can sleep in his bed with him. Surprise, surprise!!! They’re now divorced. He spread rumors around about her. He claimed that she paid a retarded neighbor to stick his dingy in a jar of bees so it would swell and she could “maka sexy” with him. Seriously….

My brother is bipolar. Usually, an untreated bipolar with brief periods of actually seeking psych attention. He has been a cab driver, a stocker at a Dollar Store, and a flea marketer. The flea marketer stint outlasted all of his other jobs put together. Too bad he never made any money doing it. He went to auctions and bought “antiques” aka junk and tried reselling the stuff at various locations. Besides not really making a living at this, it was a seasonal occupation.

So, for pretty much all of his life (he’s in his early 50’s), family members have had to bail him out of one mess after another. We took turns taking him into our homes. None of these stays lasted very long due to his extreme moodiness which displayed itself in unpredictable episodes of sulleness, rudeness, selfishness, and volatile behavior. During the sullen periods, he just ignored people. Literally. You could walk into the same room he was in and he completely ignored you. He would not answer you. He would just not respond at all, as if you were invisible and he was mute. Always following these episodes, he would get angry at the world and believe that no one ever gave him a chance, cheated him out of something, lied about him, etc.

Yeah, he’s screwed up….and screwed up really bad.

He tends to “vanish” for periods of time with none of us knowing where he is. He never lets us know until he needs money or something. He is an expert at turning on the niceness, humbleness, “pitymeact”, and contrition, then. He never acknowledges stuff like the fact that his last conversation with you might have been, “Kiss my ass, whore/bitch/asshole. I don’t need you. I can take care of myself. I’ve always taken care of myself!” Bwahahahaha Total mind (his own) deception and he performs it expertly.

Right before Christmas, he called me. Actually, it was on my birthday and I was pleasantly surprised to here his voice. This was because I thought he called to wish me Happy Birthday. WTF was I thinking???? He called because he was once again desperate. He had moved to a small town about 25 miles from into into a small, empty building that was once a church. He had no electricity, no food, no money, etc. He said that he needed to check into a psych hospital because he was having suicidal thoughts. (BTW…this is not the first time that I went thru the exact same thing with him.) But, there was a catch. He wouldn’t go unless someone kept his dog. His dog is mean. His dog is unkempt with knots and tats in it’s fur. AND….he will not let anyone keep the dog outside unless it is provided with a dog house with heat. I have a dog house but was not willing to wire it for heat so he rejected my offer of keeping the dog. For 2 solid days, I called people offering to pay for them to keep the dog. Finally, I had some luck. My ex-brother-in-law was kind enough to keep the dog if I paid him and bought dog food.

I arranged to pick my brother up and my ex-bil to pick up the dog. I handed over 100 bucks to the BIL and he took the dog home with him. Since, my brother had complained about his shoes being torn up and his feet getting wet, I talked my hubby out of an almost brand new pair of Timberlands that cost about $70 and a rarely worn jacket that I had bought him in November. I packed a bag with toiletries, gum, Nicorette gum (he’s a heavy smoker), etc for the hospital. Bought all the gas and even gave him $70 so he would have some money during his hospital stay. On the way to the hospital, hubby and I stopped to buy him a good hot dinner in case the hospital had already served before he got there. It was on a Saturday and we were not sure of weekend schedules.

Checked him in and even went back to see the doc with him. Finally, the doc came in and said she needed to talk to him alone and I had to go out of the room. In the waiting room, hospital guards came out and said they had to search his bags as that is routine for suicidal psych patients. One funny thing did happen. The guards asked me if there was anything sharp or dangerous in the bags. I recited the list of toiletries and the gum. When the word gum came out, they pounced on the bag. They thought I had said “gun”! Now, who would bring a gun into a government institution (VA hospital) and then admit it casually? I didn’t know that they thought that I had said “gun” so I had no idea what the ruckus was about. After a complete search of the bag, one guard said, “Where is it?”.

“Where is what”, I asked.

“The gun!”, said the guard.

“GUN! I said GUM”, I laughed. Thankfully, the guards laughed, too.

OK..this is taking too long. Long story…short. He got checked in and was transfered to a VA psych facility in Virginia. This was on Saturday. I’m thinking they will keep him 4-6 weeks and he’ll get treatment.

Tuesday evening, I get a call from him. He is being released on Wednesday. I am PISSED!!!! He is seriously mentally unstable and they are RELEASING HIM! Now, what the friggin’ heck am I suppose to do? It’s winter. It’s cold. He has no job. He will not stay with anyone without his dog sleeping with him. He has no money….well, except for the hundred that I gave him. I do not want to deal with this shit. I am tired of it. I have had to deal with his shit for a long, long time. I am so damn tired of it!!!!!! I do not want him staying with me. He makes everybody around him miserable. He does not help around the house at all. Did I mention that I am tired of this shit? But, the good Samaritan-take advantage of-sister kicked in and I told him to call me when he was released. Of course, he didn’t. But, you know what? I decided that this time, I was not going to worry or feel responsible for a grown man who would not do anything to help himself.

About a week later, he called. He was staying with our ex-BIL. BUT, he had actually found a job. A real job. At a car wash. So, I’m thinking, “GOOD FOR HIM!”. I should have known better than to get my hopes up, though. His calls started coming pretty regular. He had decided to move into the car-wash office……with no bed, no food, no heat. Once again, I was a big fat sucker and started running by there to take him a $10 or a $20. He always took it with the promise that he would pay it back. Um-huh…..when monkey fly out my ass.

Then, I ran into my ex-BIL and he started telling me what a miserable time it was with my brother staying with him. Uh…yeah…like I didn’t know that already. Then, he told me something that made my blood boil. Once again, dear bro’ was badmouthing me behind me back. THE WHOLE DAMN TIME THAT I WAS HELPING HIM. ASSHOLE!!!!!

So, I made a trip to the car-wash and told my brother that I needed some of my money back. He handed over $7. Then, he proceeded to start his list of complaints again…..he’s cold in there. There’s no TV. I just looked at him and said….

“Well, at least you can take a shower and wash your clothes. Just throw some quarters in the machine and walk thru the car wash, asshole!”

I could see his look of surprise in my rear-view mirror as I drove off.

He hasn’t called since. Oh….but he will.