On Hoarding, Again…..Anybody Need Some Really Old False Teeth?

Here I go again…..with my hoarding report.

I swore on my granny’s grave and pledged a solemn crossed-my-heart-and hope-to-die not to buy crap that I can’t use. I’ve done fairly well with this promise to myself as of right now. No promises for the future, though. So, after giving myself an allowable amount of grieving time for all the great bargains that got away from me, I decided that it was time to tackle the piles of stuff that I had bought. I really needed to do something about the mountains of crates in my office. Did I mention that I’m OCD (which lead to the hoarding to start with)? So, I am caught between a rock and a hard place. …seriously in need of ridding myself of all this crap and unwilling to give up my precious collections.

There are several different schools of thought on why people like me hoard. I think the root of my problem has several different aspects. The fact that I was dirt poor growing up and learned to cherish what few posessions that I had plays a big part. Also, I acknowledge that shopping feels up something missing in my life. Now, mix in the fact that I am a #1 cheap-ass and voila’…..a clearance, bargain shopper is born.

I got up this morning and decided that today was THE DAY. I found a million little things that I just had to do before THE BIG JOB. Finally, I put my foot down and said, “Look, you’ve got to do it!” Actually, that’s kind of a lie, I actually said, “You’ve got to do it or you won’t have anywhere to put anymore stuff.” There, I came clean and admitted it.

I took the stairs slowly, giving myself some time to get my nerve up and swiftly run through my head what my inventory was. Then, I planted my feet firmly and dug in.

First, the huge crate of baby clothes and items. I have no babies but figured these would make great baby shower gifts. Actually, enough shower gifts for a small (OK..medium…alright…LARGE) sized village in Timbuktoo. Nah….I’ll just put those aside for awhile. They really could be useful if I ever start making dolls or adopted a tribe of Amazon kids.

Next, the enormous amount of scrapbooking supplies….stickers, books, ribbon, etc. I could probably sell these on eBay. But, what if I get bored and decide to start scarpbooking? I’ll just leave those for now.

HOT DAMN! No, really…..an actual bottle of Hot Damn liqour. I bought it about 3 years ago on the advice of my beautician who on the advice of her square dancing teacher bought some for flu and congestion. I remember trying it. I’m not sure if it worked on the congestion but it did make you not care if you were congested. I probably should throw it away. Why did I keep it? For the HOT DAMN label, of coure.

Next, I found an old embalming kit. Hey, I wondered where that went. I bought it at an estate auction about 5- 6 years ago just to freak my kids out. The trouble, though, is I stuck it in my stack of valuables and forgot to threaten my kids with it.

How ’bout that autographed and framed picture of Bob Barker? I got it as a joke from my daughter. But, ya know, since Bob retired, it might be valuable. I’d better hang on to it.

So many things that I might use one day.

This was getting to be much harder than I thought. I had to come up with some things for which I could not find some reason to keep.

And then…….there they were……some really old false teeth. Why on earth did I buy false teeth that belonged to someone a long time ago. Someone that I didn’t even know.

Hmmmm……then, I remembered. I bought them at an auction. That was during tmy artist (what a joke) period when I had decided that I would do a huge sculpture of odd things.

Now, these, I could throw away. Or,could I? I might run into a toothless person who could use them. They could just get them fixed. Oh, I forgot to mention that about 1/3 of the teeth were missing.

With much reluctance , I tossed the false teeth in the up til then empty “get rid of” box. OK…now, I had a start. What next?

I took a break. I knew that if I didn’t get away from the box holding only a pair of old false teeth, I would be tempted to rescue them.

Tomorrow is a new day. Who knows that else I might find. I’m gonna DO IT! I swear….I QUIT….I’m downsizing. I’m cleaning out.

Hmmm….the false teeth would make a geat conversation piece as a wind chime. Don’tcha think?