to this chair.

  (While looking for an image of a butt, I came across a website named scrubyourbutt.com. LMAO You can find anything on the internet!)

I got up with good intentions. I swear I did. Even made me a list of things that I wanted to do today. There are about 8 things on the list. So far, I’ve scratched off zilch. But, writing in my blog will allow me to draw a line through one. Too bad there are seven chores ahead of it.

I’m just sitting here, looking out the window. Usually, there are either wild turkeys or deer in the big field. Today there is nothing but grass that needs mowed. Glad I don’t have that one on my list!

I’m an out-of-control, compulsive clearance shopper. As a matter of fact, I’m fighting the urge right this minute. The thing is……I buy crap that I have no need or use for. I’ve solved this problem in the past by listing stuff on eBay. That’s my number UNO item on my list. But, then, it’s been the number one item on my to-do list since last Friday. My husband is becoming a little bit upset with my hoards of great buys. Gee willy! He just doesn’t get it!

  Why can’t he see that 200 cans of soup will come in handy if we happened to get nuked by an unfriendly country. Ok, it’s crappy soup like cream of crab but we will be hungry in our underground shelter (which I have been buying stuff to build, too).

 He keeps complaining about the large tote full of kid’s underwear. Admittedly, I don’t have any small children. And, no underwear fetishes, either. BUT, criminey, they were 50 cents a pack. And, you just don’t know when somebody will come visiting with children and the children might have an “accident”. Won’t they be grateful for dry undies? I tried to get an address to mail all these bloomers to needy children overseas. But, seems like all the organizations want money, not Fruit of the Looms.

 I have this many bath products. Well, actually, I probably have 3 times this many. But, back to the nuke, I wanna be clean in the Apocalyse!

 Socks! Socks! Socks! I have a huge stockpile of socks. But, ya gotta think ahead. What if I’m about 88 and can’t drive. My feet will be cold (old peoples fit are always cold). This will prevent me from having to call one of my daughters to take me to Wal-Mart. See, I’m thinking of other people. It’s not like I’m selfish.

I’m ready to come out of the hoarding closet. For the first time, I will admit to having the following:

Boxes of costume jewlery. And, I don’t wear costume jewelry

Boxes of men’s shirts in all sizes.

Boxes of women’s clothes in all sizes.

Same for children.

Turkey hunting videos.

Deer pee (to attract deer)

Golf instruction videos and books

Hair accessories ( I have short hair)

11 boxes of hair dye in assorted colors

21 plastic to go bottles with lids

6 martini shakers

Lots of old glass stuff from auctions

32 pairs of girl’s bikini bottoms (I’m waiting for the tops to go on clearance)

11 hummingbird feeders (gotta keep those little darlings coming to the trailer park!)

5 regular bird feeders ( actually, I don’t like birds. They poop too much)

Box of various outdoor decorations (gotta keep the trailer park looking spiffy)

Looking at this list is making me ill. I think I’ll get out of here and go hit some clearance sales!!!!!!!