Had a bad week

Here’s the bad things that happened to me since last Tuesday

1. Fell off chair….bruised tailbone…OW!

2. Went to amusement park….couldn’t ride cause had a busted ass.  I love rollercoasters. BUMMED OUT

3. Lost major credit card. Second time in two months. Crap!!!!!

4. Keep getting long-winded, incoherent messages on my answering machine from my drugged out sister-in-law. That could be BAD or GOOD since most of them are insanely funny. HYSTERICAL!

5. Found out husband has ordered a $7,000 armour piercing gun. WTF?????? And you did read that right…..seven thousand. And here I am with a car that’s on it’s last leg. Hmmmm…..that gun might come in handy. ANGRY

6. Hurt nephew’s feelings by not visiting when I was near his house. Hey!!! There’s only so much of me to go around. Admittedly, there’s more of me than I would like there to be. Poopsnot!

7. Had some past memories resurface that were unpleasant and hurtful. How the hell did those things did their way to the surface after I had buried them really, really deep? FRUSTRATED!

8. Turned on favorite shows at night only to find re-runs of the worse epidsodes. WTF do I pay cable? It’s shitty! PISSED-OFF

9. Found bear paw prints right on the walkway  that my husband is making. Geez-louise, I knew I lived in the booger woods but this is scary! Anybody know how to get rid of bears? TOTALLY SCARED

10. Sat covered with cobwebs and candy wrappers for three days due to cracked ass. DIRTY!

Summation,

I ended a week feeling dirty, scarded, pissed-off, frustrated, angry, like poopsnot, crappy,  hysterical, bumbed out and finding rambling messages insanely funny!

11. Needed to add one more…..damn cellphone quit charging. Had to take it in and had to wait almost an hour to get a service rep. Kept my cellphone. That might be a good thing though, considering how I’m feeling (see above). Don’t think I could take a call from anyone now without exploding.

HAVE A NICE 4TH OF JULY!!!

With my luck, I’ll blow some fingers off with the fireworks that we are putting off tonight!